Show, Don't Tell

If there’s one thing I’ve heard over and over again since I ventured into the world of writing, it’s “Show, don’t tell.”  While it’s a simple concept, it can be tough to do it consistently.  Okay, enough telling!

Here is a snippet of mine from a great course I’m taking over at http://www.savvyauthors.com.

***
I took a step back, hoping the smell of onions on her breath wouldn't knock me to the floor. I leaned left, then right, but there was no squeezing past her as she stood in that doorway.

"I'm sorry I'm late Mrs. Zanzibar," I said, trying not to look at that wart on her chin.

She leaned down, close, and peered over the glasses on the tip of her nose. "Next time, don't be sorry. Be on time."

***
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3 comments:

  1. Definite show. Peuw Mrs. Zanzibar!
    xo

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  2. I'm not sure if she'll end up in my book, but she's a great character. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Great writing and great example of "showing" with verbs and adjectives!

    ReplyDelete