Hook, Line, & Sinker- Submissions CLOSED

Submissions for Round One are now CLOSED! 

Thank you to everyone commenting on other entries.  If you can’t see them, click “load more” at the bottom, below the comment box.

Comments are accepted and encouraged in this round. Comments must be positive and constructive. Anything discouraging or inappropriate will be deleted.

*Agents who aren't participating as part of our line-up are welcome to make requests, but please wait until October 25th, AFTER the contest closes.

Hook, Line, & Sinker with date

*Your MG entry must include the following: Name, title, genre & subgenre, e-mail, hook, & line. Read guidelines post here.

Hook: A pitch for your novel of up to 3 sentences (maximum of 60 words).

Line: One line from your manuscript that showcases your writing. *One sentence only and no run-ons.

*This blog is accepting Middle Grade entries, up to a maximum of 50. The submission window will close at 7 PM EDT on Sunday, October 14th, or when we reach the maximum number of entries. 

347 comments:


  1. Name: Karen Lee Hallam
    Title: Abegale Force
    Genre: Upper MG Magical Realism Adventure
    Email: karenhallam(at)ymail(dot)com

    Hook: Thirteen year-old Abegale must discover how a medicine book, magic cards, and a grim old lady are going to help bring a grandmother home she thought was dead

    Line: A creeping odor moves through the room, heavy at first, smelling of roses and Grandma Rose, but also something charred like… burnt toast?


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    1. Creeping odor...oooo... gave me goosebumps! Great line!

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    2. Sounds intriguing!

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    3. Love the title and anything to do with creepy ghost-like characters :)

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    4. Sounds fun. Nice to see someone else going for creepy!

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  2. Name - Ashley Keene
    Title - Alex Daily: Sometimes Superhero
    Genre - MG Magical Realism
    Email - keeneay (at) gmail (dot) com

    Hook:
    It’s not easy being a superhero with a different power every day and a 9:00 bedtime every night. Alex Daily has no way of controlling or predicting which superpower he’ll wake up with each morning, but that doesn’t stop him from his pursuit of uncovering the source of his abilities, while performing a few heroic deeds along the way.

    Line:
    “Alex suddenly understood why so many superheroes didn’t have parents; having parents meant a lot of lying and sneaking around, which good heroes weren’t supposed to do.”

    Good luck, everyone!

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    Replies
    1. A different superpower every day? I love it, and I know my boys would, too. Great line. :) I'm wanting to know more about the villain(s). Best of luck with this!

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    2. This sounds very adventureous and fun, and I was immediately drawn to your mc!

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    3. Alex sounds adorable. Love this line. It made me LOL!!

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    4. I'd love a superpower everyday--the variety! I want to know how Alex does it.

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    5. Yes, interesting premise. I like the part about the parents too - always tricky with fantasy - where are the parents while all of this is going on!

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    6. I'd love to read this! Sounds really great.

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    7. This sounds like it could be super funny.

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    8. You already know how much I love this :) Good luck!

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    9. Fun premise. Intrigued how he discovers the power each morning. I imagine that it'll be very funny.

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    10. Great Line! Sounds like a fun concept.

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    11. Can I have some of your superpowers? I'll take your parents, too, if that helps.

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  3. Name: Suzanne R. Klein
    Title: SHADOW OF A CRESCENT MOON
    Genre: MG Contemporary with paranormal elements
    Email: suzanne.r.klein(at)gmail(dot)com

    Hook: When twelve-year-old Sadie Elliott’s secret psychic vision reveals a horrific car accident, she must make a choice: continue hiding her ability from her skeptical mother or search for the girl who has lived only in her visions, until now.

    Line: This has been the worst two days ever, with the funeral and Becky’s accident and Mom tossing my journal, and yet here I am, sitting on the dock with my best friend and talking about Becky.

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    Replies
    1. I would read this for the premise and voice.

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    2. This sounds really good! Love the premise!

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    3. I love the title - interested in learning why it is called that.

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    4. This story makes my little green heart ache. :-(

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  4. Name: Gail Nall
    Title: EX-DRAMA QUEEN
    Genre: Upper MG Contemporary
    Email: gailecn(at)gmail(dot)com
     
    Hook: Rather than be doomed to a life of mediocrity when she loses the lead in the school musical to her best friend, thirteen-year-old Casey makes a list of ways to reinvent herself. Karate master, figure skater, poker player...and accidental boyfriend stealer? So much for ex-drama queen.
     
    Line: My Swan Lake visions swirl down the toilet in a mess of white tulle and ribbons.

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    Replies
    1. Why be doomed when you can reinvent? Sounds like fun.

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    2. Hi Gail! I love the "accidental boyfriend stealer" part! Best of luck!

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    3. I love the so much for ex-boyfriend line. Best of luck!

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    4. Enjoyed the line - white tulle and ribbons

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    5. The premise sounds great. A fun read!

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    6. Totally something I'd read. There's a great potential for conflict in this story.

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    7. I love that the ex-drama queen has so much drama!

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    8. What a great visual in that line!! Love that. Interesting premise too!

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    9. You made me laugh. And I don't even like girls!

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  5. Name: Stacey Hertz
    Title: The Hunt for the Keystones
    Genre: MG Adventure/Thriller
    Email: staceyhertz (at) ymail (dot) com

    Hook: Ben’s mother returned from the Hunt nearly catatonic, and his father never came back at all. He is the only one left who can save his little sister, but the Hunt was never meant for kids. The obstacles within it are very real, and very lethal.

    Line: The warm, raw meat breath, only inches from his face, made him gag, but his need to vomit was outweighed by his need to not pee in his pants in front of Piper.

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    Replies
    1. Great line! I can only image what warm,, raw meat breath smells like!

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    2. Worry about embarrassment in front of a girl can trump A LOT of emotions for guys (I've learned as a wife and mother) :)

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  6. Name: Jimmy Juliano
    Title: The Classified Journal of a Hall Monitor
    Genre: MG Humor
    Email: jimmyjuliano(at)gmail(dot)com

    Hook: Chance Patrick is a hall monitor, but he thinks he is an action hero. And in his distorted Schwarzenegger-vision, litterers are terrorists and loiterers are enemies of the state. But when Chance concludes the star quarterback is the evil mastermind of a schoolwide brain-enhancing drug ring, this time Chance might be right - and it is time for action.

    Line: According to the Liberty Leader code of ethics I would have to take a bullet for Toby, but I just hope it goes through me and hits him too.

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    Replies
    1. This one sounds hilarious! :) And I love the line.

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    2. I agree! Instant visual of this kid when I read the hook. Good luck!

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    3. This sounds funny! I would definitely read more of this. Good luck!

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    4. Love that first line. I'm stuck on it, and got an immediate visual too.

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    5. I love the title! Sounds like a fun read.

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    6. Your line made me laugh. It made me think of the Librarian series.

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    7. This seems like a great fun read and my son would probably love it. Great line, very funny indeed.

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    8. This feels like classic MG. Great line!

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    9. I don't think this hall monitor would like me. But he sounds funny and I think I'd like him.

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  7. Name: Matt Eardley
    Title: The Town of Sleep
    Genre: Middle Grade. Magic Realism
    Email: matt at tinysports dot org

    Hook:

    After reading The Sleeping Bug, eleven year old Molly Jefferson is transformed into the world of the story. Molly must help cure the sleeping sickness which has sent all the town’s adults into sleep, before the book ends, or face the possibility of being stuck in the book forever.

    Line:

    The lemon tree dissolved and materialised into her wardrobe and chest of drawers, the green grass with its furry insects became her unmade bed, and worst of all, the smells of candyfloss and toffee apples evaporated until all Molly could smell was her Mother’s beef stew wafting up from downstairs.

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    Replies
    1. I love the premise of your project here. It sounds fun.

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    2. Candyfloss and toffee apples sound yummy. Could you send me some?

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  8. Name: Emily Cushing
    Title: RACE TO BUTCH CASSIDY’S GOLD
    Genre: MG Mystery
    Word Count: 45,000
    Email: emcush(at)hotmail(dot)com

    Hook:
    Twelve-year-old Maggie McCoy wants to be brave and spontaneous, so when she and her fearless cousin Jake find clues leading to Butch Cassidy’s gold, she crumples her “to-do” list in favor of adventure. Racing across Utah with their quirky Grandpa Jim is the grand adventure she’s always wanted, until they must outrun a dangerous thief to find the treasure first.

    Line:
    The light from the evening sun shone through the trees, casting eerie shadows all around them, especially on something lying on the ground about thirty feet away.

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    Replies
    1. I really like your line, and your book sounds
      like a great adventure for Middle Grade readers.

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    2. Love your line and agree that this sounds like a great adventure book :)

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    3. This one sounds right up my alley (my entry, DOUBLE-CROSSED, is also a treasure hunt). I love how you get the feeling this is the first crazy thing Maggie has done, and it turns into a bit more than she bargained for. :)

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    4. Ooooh. I love and gold and treasure!

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  9. Name: Rena Rockford
    Title: LEGACY
    Genre: MG urban fantasy
    Email: Renalford(at) gmail [dot] com

    Hook:
    Mythical creatures hide in our world, disguised as humans. When trolls kidnap a unicorn, Allyson’s best friend—a half-troll—is blamed, and unicorns kill for revenge. But Allyson knows where the kidnapers are and has a plan to rescue the unicorn and prove her friend’s innocence: they have to murder a dragon, and he’s Allyson’s father.

    Line:
    “Surprisingly, I stay moody about felonies for weeks on end.”

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    1. It's interesting but curious how Allyson can decide to prove her friend's innocence with a plan to kill her father...

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    2. Haha, I love that unicorns are presented like vindictive gang members. They kill for revenge, lol. Not your typical unicorns. :)

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    3. You can never trust mythical creatures disguised as humans. Trust me.

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  10. Name: Ace Hansen
    Title: Julius Caesar Brown and the Green Gas Mystery
    Genre: MG Humor
    Email: AceHansenMG(at)gmail(dot)com

    Hook: When a peculiar green gas crisis breaks wind, the Global Air Group (GAG) offers a million dollar prize to the discoverer of the cause. Julius dreams of winning, but it’s not until he’s forced to work for the creepy zombie lady down the street that an unlikely solution to the mystery unfolds. Can he send his entry in time?

    Line: The policeman’s eyebrows almost flew off his forehead.


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    1. Sounds like a great story. I like the GAG acronyn. Cute!

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    2. I also love the GAG acronym. And that's a great line too.

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    3. I'm immediately intrigued by the creepy zombie lady because she is presented so matter of factly. It raises all sorts of questions about the world you're writing in. Good job. :)

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  11. Name: Joel Shulkin
    Title: The Siren and the Whale
    Genre: MG literary fantasy
    Email: joelshulkinmd(at)yahoo(dot)com

    Hook: Twelve year-old Marie's dreams come true in the Siren’s undersea city, but her dream becomes a nightmare. While the Siren grants Marie power to create the life she never had since being abandoned, she risks losing her mind. With help from a strange girl and a mysterious whale, Marie must find a way to save her dreams without losing herself.

    Line: Even now, she could feel it tugging at her body, pulling her toward those magical bedrooms where she could create whatever she wanted—everything except what, deep down, was most important to her.

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    Replies
    1. Very intriging premise! I would read this to learn more about the mc's magical adventure.

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    2. I am curious to know how Marie can live in an undersea city and how her dreams becomes nightmares. I would read more to learn about the setting.

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    3. Ooh, an underwater city. This premise is intriguing me.

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    4. Great premise! I'd read more.

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    5. I remember this one from GUTGAA! Your hook raises a lot of interesting questions. It sounds like Marie is going to have to make a really tough decision before the end of the book. :)

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    6. Strange girls and mysterious whales? I like it!

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  12. Name: Laurie Litwin
    Title: Lilly Washington’s Presidential Adventure
    Genre: MG Contemporary
    Email: hagergirl(at)yahoo(dot)com

    Hook: When twelve-year-old Lilly Washington finds a mysterious diary with entries from the 1870s, she goes against the wishes of the school principal and embarks on a wild adventure to find an undiscovered time capsule mentioned in one of the entries. What she finds could uncover long lost secrets from the Civil War. That is, if she isn’t expelled first.

    Line: Being the super-skinny kid with red-rimmed glasses and parents named George and Martha Washington, I’ve never exactly been inconspicuous.

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    Replies
    1. Cool premise! I love the line, too. My question is, why is the principal so set against her finding the capsule? I'd read this :) Good luck!

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    2. Very funny line and neat premise :)

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    3. It sounds like a fun book, Laurie!

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    4. Haha, what a fun line! I agree with Michelle that I'm interested to know why the principal is against Lilly, but I'm assuming your query/manuscript would make that clearer. Nice job. :)

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    5. Can I join Lilly in the time capsule when she finds it?

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  13. Name: Ramon Ballard
    Title: Princess Taken
    Genre: MG Fantasy
    Email: raballard(at)mchsi(dot)com
    HOOK
    Thirteen-year-old Sara, immature and over-protected in her own secure, everything-in-its-rightful-place world, worried about nothing but boys and her studies until her mother’s kidnapping alters her fate forever in PRINCESS TAKEN, a gripping, 73,000 word Middle Grade Fantasy novel.

    LINE
    The lingering effects of the poison clouded Sara Robert's mind but not her resolve to rescue her mother.

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    Replies
    1. Intriguing hook. I am curious to see how immature Sara handles this tragedy!

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    2. I'm immediately curious how Sara matures throughout the book, but I was initially confused by the wording of your hook. I would suggest restructuring it: "Boys and exams are immature, over-protected Sara's biggest worries... until her mother's kidnapping shatters her everything-in-its-rightful place world. PRINCESS TAKEN is a gripping..." That's just my opinion, though. Either way, I'm hooked and interested to see how the fantasy elements come into play. :)

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    3. Poison is mean. I hope Sara finds out who poisoned her.

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  14. Name: Michelle L. Brown
    Title: Fried Liver
    Genre: MG Contemporary
    Email: mlbrownwrites(at)gmail(dot)com

    Hook: When twelve-year-old Mike McTavish rescues a half-starved mutt, he finds a friend he won't have to leave behind the next time the Air Force launches him into the wild blue yonder. But if he wants to keep the dog, he'll have to beat its former owner and state chess champion at her own game--winner take Woofus.

    Line: When we got back from chess camp and Carma saw what I’d done to her room, there was heck to pay, and I was the one holding the bill.

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    1. I love the last line of your hook, "winner take Woofus!" Your mc sounds interesting as well as a lot of fun!

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    2. This sounds really cute. I'd definintely read it. I, too, love the winner take Woofus line.

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    3. Love the premise and line. I was holding the bill is great. Good luck!

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    4. Winner take Woofus, LOL! Love it! You've done a great job of making Mike immediately sympathetic by saying he wants a friend he won't have to leave behind. Well done! :)

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    5. If I help Mike with that chess game, can I pet Woofus?

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  15. Name: CJ Mun
    Title: Moon Fire
    Genre: MG Fantasy Adventure
    Email: CJ (at) CJMUN.com

    Hook: Zephyr, a half-Asian boy, embarks on a wild adventure into the world of Asian wizards to save his parents from being lost forever in the ether. In his journey, Zephyr narrowly escapes the wrath of Lepton Black, the Lord of Black Magic, but learns that Black is his biological father.

    Line: Raindrops covered the window like braille, delivering a secret message Zephyr could not decipher.

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    1. Very interesting premise, and your descriptions are beautiful!

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    2. Thank you. I'm new on this site, and it is so cool to participate.

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    3. Oooh, I don't think I've ever seen a book about Asian wizards. I'm already interested to see how Eastern culture differs from Western culture. And the twist of Lepton Black being Zephyr's biological father definitely ups the internal conflict. Great entry! :)

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    4. I'll loan you my raindrop decoder, Zephyr, okay?

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  16. Name: Lori Tays Eastep
    Title: CHRONICITY
    Genre: MG Fantasy
    Email: leastep(at)hcu(dot)edu

    Hook: With the help of two friends and a 400-year-old girl he may or may not have a crush on, thirteen-year-old Grim Grinnert must determine how and why he stumbled into Chronicity, the Town of Time. If he fails to find the answers before the watch strapped to his arm hits zero, they’ll send him someplace horrible… like 1932. Forever.

    Line: His eight-year-old brother, Tyrus, was throwing jumbo marshmallows into the windows of passing cars and calling out, “Want s’more?”

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    1. Really great humor and voice in both the hook and the line. Sounds like a fast-paced, fun read. Good luck!

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    2. Love the voice and humor! It sounds like a fun read. I would totally love to read this!

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    3. This sounds great. Lots of questions to hook the reader and a wonderful line! My daughter laughed out loud at that.

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    4. Interesting Sci-fi concept - the town of time. Like it.

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    5. Sounds interesting! I'd love to read more!

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    6. I love the name Grim and the way you work humor in without compromising the high stakes ("someplace horrible... like 1932" made me laugh). Very well done! :)

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    7. Love your line and great premise :)

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    8. Mmmmm. Jumbo marshmallows ^+^

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  17. Name: Manju B. Howard
    Title: TRIPLE B
    Genre: Upper MG Contemporary
    E-mail: manjubeth(at)gmail(dot)com

    Hook:
    Thirteen-year-old Samantha learns survival skills from her older brother, Brad, serving in Afghanistan. Staying out of harms way means avoiding her alcoholic father, but no one warns Samantha that flirting with her best friend’s brother (a star high school football player) would lead to trouble. Verbal sparring matches with the popular eighth grade girls escalate to cyber-bullying, which threaten Samantha’s self image.

    Line:
    Clashing with her attitude, gold peace symbols dangle from Tiffany’s earlobes.

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    Replies
    1. I would most definitely read this! Sounds like you tackle some important subjects.

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    2. This sounds really heavy and timely. I'm already rooting for Samantha. :)

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  18. Name: Paul Adams
    Title: The Traveler's Key
    Genre: MG Paranormal Adventure
    Email: paul.r.adams(at)gmail(dot)com

    Hook: What's a boy to do when the dead say they need a hero? For Owen, you discover being a hero doesn't come easy. With the dead sick and their getting better his ticket home, he better learn fast. A quick talking banshee named Annabel shows him the ropes but will it save them all from a fate worse than death?

    Line: The moment was fleeting as her breath drew into her throat, catching and crackling as it moved into her lungs, and she whispered, “I have so relished every vile thought that has entered my mind since I first smelled the stink of you enter my parlor."

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    1. Totally thrilling premise! Your descriptions are fab. I want to read this now!

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    2. Oooh, this sounds creepy - just in time for Halloween! Your line made me shiver. Nicely done. :)

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    3. Death is always a winner for me. Good luck, Paul!

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  19. Name: Elaine Vickers
    Title: Discovering Isaac
    Genre: MG Contemporary
    Email: elainebvickers(at)gmail(dot)com

    Hook: Eleven-year-old Isaac Sanchez didn’t know what to expect when his deadbeat mom came back, but it definitely wasn’t this: a secret code, a new best friend, and a strange connection to the greatest scientist of all time. Isaac’s experiments sometimes end in disaster, but he may discover what he was looking for all along: his own place in the universe.

    Line: There were only two cool parts about those field trips: looking down the amazing wall of concrete that holds back the Colorado River, and being able to say things like “This is the best dam field trip ever!” or “When is this dam tour going to end?” without getting in trouble.

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    Replies
    1. Your line sounds totally MG male and made me chuckle. I love this premise, and am curious how his mom's return unleashes all of these things. Sounds like the story's got some real emotional depth, too. Good luck!

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    2. Love the hook, and the dam line is good, too!

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    3. Those are the best dam jokes I've ever heard. Good luck! :)

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    4. Yeah - MG for boys are so in demand - this looks like a really interesting premise.

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    5. Haha - this is a dam great entry! I love the emotional struggle you've set up with Isaac's "deadbeat mom," but the last bit about finding his place in the universe makes me suspect there is a fantasy/sci-fi element. Maybe that's just me, though. Good luck! :)

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    6. This sounds really great! Love your line.

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    7. That line is precious!!! Love it!

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    8. Hope it's a play on Newton, and there's a bit of fun physics in it. Definitely interested in reading it.

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    9. Dam that line is cute. Good Luck!

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    10. Love your line and I've always loved your premise :)

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  20. Name: Dale S. Rogers
    Title: The Quest for Monte Vista
    Genre: Upper MG Contemporary Adventure
    Email: DaleSRogers(at)gmail(dot)com


    Hook: Career-oriented, teenager Dee Robinson wanted to focus solely on studying Criminal Justice and becoming an FBI agent someday. But now . . . why do boys have to complicate everything? She took a trip to a mountain resort with her two best friends, hoping to put things into perspective, unaware of a powerful man who could doom her future.

    Line: After it's initial flare, the fireball shrank to a fizzle, shooting a yellow-white stream of light.

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    Replies
    1. This sounds awesome, but I wonder if it might be YA. Either way, I'm hooked. Your line is such a beautiful visual! :)

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    2. You're welcome! Hope you make it so I can see your 250. :)

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  21. Name: Faith E. Hough
    Title: CIRQUE
    Genre: Upper MG historical fiction
    Email: faith.hough(at)gmail(dot)com

    Hook: While the French Revolution brews around her, 14-year-old Comtesse Juliette de la Marche is concerned only with finding her missing diplomat father, a quest that takes her from the center ring of London’s first circus to the edge of the guillotine’s blade.
    Line: On three levels, I considered, visiting Guy Legrand's home was like making a visit to the barber to have a tooth extracted: you winced coming in and left feeling greatly relieved; any time spent there was easier to endure with your eyes closed; and you could never get the smell of rotting things out of your nose.

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    Replies
    1. Great line, Faith! I really liked the barber to get a tooth extracted part. Good luck!

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    2. This sounds like a great historical! I love the bit about "the edge of the guillotine's blade" and, as Dana pointed out, the bit about the barber is an awesome detail. :)

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    3. Wow, that first line is great. It really gives me a feel for your voice and the tone of the book. Good job.

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  22. Name: Sue Frye
    Title: Pandorious
    Genre: MG Fantasy
    Word Count: 12,000
    Email: suedfrye(at)gmail(dot)com

    Hook: When thirteen-year-old loner, Haven Hitchcock, opens a strange book, she unleashes an ancient curse that gives her the power to make her dreams come true.
    Haven creates and enjoys her exciting adventures until she becomes a victim of her own unpredictable quests and can’t save herself much less her town unless . . . she learns to trust her friends.

    Line: The Monster pumpkin shook the whole barn, yelling, “Oh, No! I’ve been PIE'D!

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    Replies
    1. I really like the first sentence of your hook. Finding a book that makes your dreams come true doesn't sound like a curse, so this makes me interested to read more.

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    2. Agree - first sentence of hook says it all

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    3. I really like what you've done here, but I was a little confused by your Hook at first. I'd suggest: "...gives her the power to bring her dreams into the waking world." But that's just my opinion. I'm also dying to know if Haven's friends are in this world or the dream world -- I'm so hooked! :)

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    4. Sounds interesting! Good luck!

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    5. Interesting premise. Would love to read more about the curse.

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  23. Name: Jayme Woods
    Title: DOUBLE-CROSSED
    Genre: MG Adventure
    Word Count: 55,000
    Email: jayme.woods222(at)gmail(dot)com

    Hook: When Stray blows his sister’s chance at a scholarship, their father’s pirate stories may be the only way to set things right. Along with three friends – and one reluctant enemy – the siblings hunt treasure while two gun-toting modern-day pirates hunt them. DOUBLE-CROSSED takes a ragtag group of friends reminiscent of THE GOONIES and sets them loose in small town Florida.

    Line: “If I’ve only got fifteen minutes to live, I don’t want to spend them hiding.”

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    Replies
    1. This looks like an interesting adventure for boys. One senses quick pacing by the hook.

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    2. Thanks, Kristen! I worried the Hook might be too choppy, so I'm relieved to hear that. :)

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    3. It sounds like a lot of fun! I'm sure kids will love it.

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    4. Thanks, Dale! I hope you are right. :)

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    5. Really like the line and any comparison to Goonies is always a good thing :)

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    6. Thanks, A.E.! I hesitated before referencing The Goonies because those are big shoes to fill, but it really did feel appropriate. I'm glad you liked it! :)

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  24. Name: Ella Schwartz
    Title: TEMPLE FALLS
    Genre: MG Fantasy
    E-mail: ella (at)ellaschwartz (dot) net

    Hook:
    The first plague to strike the kingdom is darkness, but the Gods are just getting warmed up. Why would Nara, a 13 year old banished princess, care? Because the angry Gods speak only to her, and she alone can save the kingdom she once called home before the Gods annihilate everything.

    Line:
    For three weeks, since the death of Nara’s father, it was as if the Gods decided it would be a good idea to cover the kingdom with a large, dirty, dishrag; and every day the dishrag grew dirtier.

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    Replies
    1. Interesting premise. I would read more of this.

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    2. I'm intrigued that it's the kingdom Nara "once called home." Seems like it makes for an interesting conflict. :)

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    3. Oooo sounds epic--and tragic. Thirteen yo princess up against the Gods--fantastic.

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    4. This almost has a Joan of Arc-esque piece to it, which I like :) Good luck!

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  25. Name: April Wall
    Title: IN THE MIDST OF MONSTERS
    Genre: MG Fantasy Adventure
    Email: aprilmwall(at)yahoo(dot)com

    Hook: Receiving the weirdest birthday gift ever, twelve-year-old Jonathan discovers his parents aren’t obsessed with rescuing exotic animals – they’re busy saving monsters. Now it’s his turn to train so he can protect the shape-shifting beasts who are in fact real and NOT evil. But when his creature-teacher disappears, Jonathan must find him—and fast—or his family will be next.

    Line: The only way that guy had brains was if he had them stashed in a jar somewhere.

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    Replies
    1. This line made me laugh out loud! :D

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    2. Fun line! I think the premise sounds like something kids will gobble up. I am wondering exactly what it is he receives for his birthday. Good luck with this!

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    3. I *love* your line. Good luck!

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    4. Ditto - funny line, well played.

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    5. I love your Hook and Line! Good luck!

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    6. Haha! Brains stashed in jars. You slay me! I really like the premise you've set up here. Good luck! :)

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    7. Great line! I'd read more.

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    8. I like the premise. It reminds me of the tv show - Sanctuary.

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    9. Sounds like a fun adventure. Andthese line is a LOL!! Good luck!

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  26. Name: Jason Nelson
    Title: Speckle’s Flock
    Genre: MG Fantasy
    Email: xC0000005@voiceofthehive.com

    Hook: A proper chicken would give up, stranded along the roadside after a car accident, but Speckle’s never been proper. She forms a friendship, forges a flock, and attempts a journey no chicken has survived. Wits and courage will aid the flock across roads and farms, but the final path leads through Coyote’s shadow, and only sacrifice will see them through.

    Line: Speckle’s life began, as all good things do, with an egg.

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    Replies
    1. I don't think I've ever read a book with a chicken as the main character, but you've really given this one personality! I love that Speckle isn't a "proper" chicken. :)

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    2. Marissa to Speckle. Nice shift and I love the first line!

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  27. Name: Ronni Arno Blaisdell
    Title: The Secret Seventh Key
    Genre: MG Speculative Fiction
    Email: ronniarno(at)gmail(dot)com

    Hook: When Fern discovers that she’s not only half-Fae, but also the secret key to destroying the Mortal World, she must decide if the Mortal World is even worth saving. As a twelve-year-old with OCD, fitting in with humanity is hard enough... how will she fit in with the Fae folk who think she’s a total freak of nature?

    Line: “As I ran it occurred to me that in all the ways I obsessed over how I might die, being attacked by a crazy band of environmentalists wasn’t one of them.”

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    Replies
    1. Haha! Crazy band of environmentalists! I love the conflict you've set up here. Good luck! :)

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    2. Love the line and the conflict! I would definitely read this.

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  28. Name: Dana Edwards
    Title: Harold-The Kid Who Ruined My Life and Saved the Day
    Genre: MG Contemporary
    Word Count: 37,000
    Email: Edwards15(at)comcast(dot)net

    Hook: Harold has ruined Jake’s life for the last time. So what if Harold’s “special” and a genius at baseball trivia and Algebra? Jake’s plan is to ditch Harold and play shortstop for a new team, but when Harold gets B lunch it’s “deja vu all over again.” But Harold’s baseball knowledge just might help Jake’s team beat the undefeated Comets.

    Line: We tried nicknames once, but somehow Tiny Thomas, Stinky Sewell, and O’Baby O’Brien didn’t send the kind of intimidating message to our opponents that we hoped

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love that line! love love love. Good luck!

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    2. I remember this one from GUTGAA! I love the nicknames. O'Baby O'Brien made me laugh out loud! :)

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    3. Agree - great line about the nicknames

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  29. OMGoodness! I left out my stinking period after hoped!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's okay. Don't delete it at this point or you'll lose all the great comments!

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  30. Name: Kristen Hansen Brakeman
    Title: Pointy Eared Freak
    Genre: MG Humorous Fantasy
    Word Count: 36,000
    Email: Krisbrake(at)earthlink.net

    Hook: Wanna-be Goth Natalie buries herself in fantasy novels as a way of dealing with her inattentive guardian, Aunt Kelly. But when her ears suddenly turn pointy and two Elfin Collectors arrive with news of her recessive elfin gene, she doesn't know what to do. After all, fantasizing about a magical world is one thing, actually going to one is quite another.

    Line: If you are cut from the Academy, you will need to pack your bags and leave immediately, living the rest of your lives in shame and humiliation!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! LOVE your title and the humorous tone throughout! :)

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    2. Sounds like a fun story with surprises.

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  31. Name: Utsav Mukherjee
    Title: AVERAGELY EXTRAORDINARY
    Genre: MG Sci-Fi
    Word Count: 68,000
    Email: jimmyranfaz(at)gmail.com

    Hook: A daydreaming Jimmy Ranfaz is heralded as the saviour of Ulfitron. But when he bombs out of super-power training, a journey to discover his true potential leads him to a chilling revelation: he’s the villain reincarnated.

    Line: Just hold on a freaking minute, you're saying humans on Ulfitron devolved from trees?

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    Replies
    1. Okay, that line has me completely intrigued. I want to know more. Good job, and good luck.

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    2. I remember this. Good to see it's still around, and that you got it ready.

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    3. I love it. It's my kind of book.

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    4. Love the idea of the protagonist as a villain reincarnated!

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    5. Great twist in that hook. Humans devolved from trees-this sounds freaky-cool.

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    6. It sounds like Jimmy has a really strong internal conflict. Will he be ruled by the past or make his own future? Love it! :)

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  32. Name: Andrea Fitcha McAllister
    Title: THE CORNDOG WISHES
    Genre: MG Humorous Fantasy
    Word Count: 30,000
    Email: writer.illustrator(at)gmail(dot)com

    Hook: Eleven-year-old Nick Pardo is fat, he sucks at basketball, and everyone at Lakeview Elementary calls him Lardo. There's nothing he can do about it--until he gets three wishes served to him on his lunch tray.

    Line: Even Anthony was staying away from the heat lamp "grilled" chicken, and I've seen the guy eat a glue sandwich.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! Love your title and the idea of getting wishes served to Nick on his lunch tray. :)

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    2. Nick sounds like a great character and I'm dying to know what he wishes for and how it all goes wrong. Love the line! Great voice here. Good luck!

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  33. Three wishes on a lunch tray? Very cute.

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  34. Name: Sharron Rhodes
    Title: The Lock and The Key
    Genre: MG Fantasy
    Email: sharronrhodes(at)hotmail(dot)com

    Hook: Three friends embark on a dark mystery of an ancient tale when they stumble across an old key. They have to solve dark magic to find and protect a Heraldic Crest, which is hidden within a lock. To escape a dark fate, they have to fight off many who lust for the power that this object is said to hold.

    Line: "Then to their surprise, the cat transformed into a tall gray-haired man."

    ReplyDelete
  35. Name: Heather Harris-Brady
    Title: The Mis(s)fits: All that Glitters
    Genre: Middle Grade Contemporary Mystery
    Email: hhbrady2005(at)yahoo(dot)com

    Hook:
    Seriously, tween Manhattan fashionista/upstate transplant Celia Narro will do ANYTHING to be NYC’s
    Designer Deb. As she unravels the mystery of lost local loot – her ticket back – she finds a prejudiced
    secret society. When her partner disappears Celia’s nemesis forces her to choose between keeping a
    promise to an old friend or risking the life of a new one.

    Line:
    "What are you doing here? And more importantly - Dude - what is with that get up?" Celia said.

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  36. Name: Hong Tran
    Title: The World of Lau Dai Lá
    Genre: MG Multicultural Fantasy
    Email: hongtranbooks(at)gmail(dot)com

    Hook: Stories of Lau Dai Lá filled Linh’s bedtimes told to her by her Vietnamese grandmother. However, the corrupt Kerai have destroyed that idyllic world with their dark magic—and now they’re after Linh to recover a magic crossbow in order to conquer Earth. They force her to steal it because she has pure human blood; otherwise they’ll kill her family.

    Line: “What will Linh do now?” He mimicked her fear sarcastically.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Name: Marcy Blesy
    Title: Confessions of a Cornhead
    Genre: Middle Grade Contemporary
    Email: mablesy (at) yahoo (dot) com


    Hook:

    Twelve-year-old Bernie Taylor wants to be an actress but not a country-music lovin’, beef-eatin’ actress you’d expect from Cornville, Illinois. She wants to perform in Chicago, just like her mom did before she died of breast cancer. Winning a scholarship to performing arts camp is her ticket out of town, but her rival, Dixie, is intent upon crushing Bernie’s dreams.


    Line:

    I don’t know too many Hollywood actors who thank their math teachers in their acceptance speeches for teaching them algorithmic equations, and I won’t be the first.

    ReplyDelete