MG Entry #12 – Lilly Washington’s Presidential Adventure

Name: Laurie Litwin
Title: Lilly Washington’s Presidential Adventure
Genre: MG Contemporary Word Count: 34,000

Hook:
When twelve-year-old Lilly Washington finds a mysterious diary with entries from the 1870s, she goes against the wishes of the school principal and embarks on a wild adventure to find an undiscovered time capsule mentioned within its pages. What she finds could uncover long lost secrets from the Civil War. That is, if she isn’t expelled first.

Line:

Being the super-skinny kid with red-rimmed glasses and parents named George and Martha Washington, I’ve never exactly been inconspicuous.

Sinker:

Sunlight pours in my window like a cheerful smile, even though it's the day I've been dreading all summer. The first day of middle school. New school. New kids. New teachers. Higher expectations. Commence freak-out.

My stomach flip flops as I pace back and forth across my room. After seven full steps, I stop, coming face to face with Abe Lincoln. Most of my friends have posters of Justin Bieber hanging on their walls. I prefer Abe.

Turning on my heel, I recite the Gettysburg Address out loud. It's the one thing that always calms me down.

"Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth ..."

"Lilly, breakfast," my mom yells from downstairs in a sing song voice.

"...on this continent a new nation..."

"Come on, come on, come on. We're already late." My little brother Teddy sticks his head in the door and waves his arm at me to follow him. He's wearing the Thomas the Train shirt he's been begging to wear every day for weeks.

"I'll be down when I'm ready." It comes out mean. It usually bothers me if I make him feel bad, but this morning it doesn't.

He sticks his tongue out and skips down the hall toward the smell of bacon frying.

"...conceived in liberty..."

"Lilly! Downstairs! Now!" Great. Her voice hit that high note it only reaches when she's really mad.

I stifle the urge to shout back. Instead, I sigh and roll my eyes.

***
**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren't participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday, October 24th.

2 comments:

  1. This one's agent-bait for sure. Send the full ms. to me as a Word attachment to hawnqueries[at]thebentagency[dot]com, and put "HLS" in your subject line!

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  2. I agree with Molly. Three reads and I still love it! May I see more? Please paste into the body of your email: your cover letter, synopsis and first three chapters, and send to: Submissions(at)akaliteraryllc(dot)com. In the subject heading please state: HL&S - Requested by Terrie - with your entry number.

    Many thanks,
    Terrie

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