MG Entry #15 – In the Midst of Monsters

Name: April Wall
Title: In the Midst of Monsters
Genre: MG Fantasy Adventure
Word Count: 48,000


Receiving the weirdest birthday gift ever, twelve-year-old Jonathan discovers his parents aren’t obsessed with rescuing exotic animals – they’re busy saving monsters. Now it’s his turn to train so he can protect the shape-shifting beasts who are in fact real and NOT evil. But when his creature-teacher disappears, Jonathan must find him—and fast—or his family will be next.


The only way that guy had brains was if he had them stashed in a jar somewhere.


As their pale, glowing faces closed in on me, I couldn’t imagine the moment getting any worse. Then they opened their mouths.

Make it stop. Please, make it stop.

“…And many more.”

Miss Ella and my little sister, Madeline, held a homemade chocolate cake, their faces lit up like smiling jack-o’-lanterns by all twelve candles burning. Glad we had a fire extinguisher handy.

“I’m not a little kid anymore. You didn’t have to sing to me,” I said.

Unphased by my grumbling, Madeline grinned. “Make a wish, Jonathan!”

Only one came to mind. I wish my parents were here.

Not that they were in the Great Beyond or anything like that. My parents were alive, but hardly ever home.

I took a deep breath and blew out all the candles.

“If you wished to have enough money to buy those pretty earrings I want for Christmas, you’re officially my favorite big brother,”Madeline said.

I folded my arms across my chest. “I’m your only brother, Maddie. Not a big achievement.”

Madeline crossed her eyes, stuck her tongue out, and tap danced across the kitchen floor. Had she been in her secret stash of Pixy Stix again?

I smiled even if I was bummed about Mom and Dad missing my birthday. For them, work came first. Madeline called them dedicated, but I thought obsessed had a better ring to it. Who knew? Maybe they really worked as spies, punching out bad guys and making the world a safer place. Yeah, right.

**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren't participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday, October 24th.


  1. Hi, April!
    Your entry made me laugh. The description of the sister and Miss Ella singing is very clever. I don't usually go for monster stories, but I love humor and I liked your Hook. This story feels like it could be different than the usual zombie fare. I like that the monsters are the good guys and need care. I'd be interested in seeing the first 50 pages and a synopsis. Please email me at amanda(at)doecooveragency(dot)com and note in the subject line "Requested." Thanks. I look forward to reading your story.
    Amanda Lewis, Agent
    The Doe Coover Agency

  2. Doesn't he just sound like a big brother! I like the interchange and direction. May I see more? Please paste into the body of your email: your cover letter, synopsis and first three chapters, and send to: Submissions(at)akaliteraryllc(dot)com. In the subject heading please state: HL&S - Requested by Terrie - with your entry number.
    Many thanks,