MG Entry #15 – In the Midst of Monsters

Name: April Wall
Title: In the Midst of Monsters
Genre: MG Fantasy Adventure
Word Count: 48,000

Hook:

Receiving the weirdest birthday gift ever, twelve-year-old Jonathan discovers his parents aren’t obsessed with rescuing exotic animals – they’re busy saving monsters. Now it’s his turn to train so he can protect the shape-shifting beasts who are in fact real and NOT evil. But when his creature-teacher disappears, Jonathan must find him—and fast—or his family will be next.

Line:

The only way that guy had brains was if he had them stashed in a jar somewhere.

Sinker:

As their pale, glowing faces closed in on me, I couldn’t imagine the moment getting any worse. Then they opened their mouths.

Make it stop. Please, make it stop.

“…And many more.”

Miss Ella and my little sister, Madeline, held a homemade chocolate cake, their faces lit up like smiling jack-o’-lanterns by all twelve candles burning. Glad we had a fire extinguisher handy.

“I’m not a little kid anymore. You didn’t have to sing to me,” I said.

Unphased by my grumbling, Madeline grinned. “Make a wish, Jonathan!”

Only one came to mind. I wish my parents were here.

Not that they were in the Great Beyond or anything like that. My parents were alive, but hardly ever home.

I took a deep breath and blew out all the candles.

“If you wished to have enough money to buy those pretty earrings I want for Christmas, you’re officially my favorite big brother,”Madeline said.

I folded my arms across my chest. “I’m your only brother, Maddie. Not a big achievement.”

Madeline crossed her eyes, stuck her tongue out, and tap danced across the kitchen floor. Had she been in her secret stash of Pixy Stix again?

I smiled even if I was bummed about Mom and Dad missing my birthday. For them, work came first. Madeline called them dedicated, but I thought obsessed had a better ring to it. Who knew? Maybe they really worked as spies, punching out bad guys and making the world a safer place. Yeah, right.

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**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren't participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday, October 24th.

2 comments:

  1. Hi, April!
    Your entry made me laugh. The description of the sister and Miss Ella singing is very clever. I don't usually go for monster stories, but I love humor and I liked your Hook. This story feels like it could be different than the usual zombie fare. I like that the monsters are the good guys and need care. I'd be interested in seeing the first 50 pages and a synopsis. Please email me at amanda(at)doecooveragency(dot)com and note in the subject line "Requested." Thanks. I look forward to reading your story.
    Best,
    Amanda Lewis, Agent
    The Doe Coover Agency

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  2. Doesn't he just sound like a big brother! I like the interchange and direction. May I see more? Please paste into the body of your email: your cover letter, synopsis and first three chapters, and send to: Submissions(at)akaliteraryllc(dot)com. In the subject heading please state: HL&S - Requested by Terrie - with your entry number.
    Many thanks,
    Terrie

    ReplyDelete