MG Entry #3 - The Classified Journal of a Hall Monitor

Name: Jimmy Juliano
Title: The Classified Journal of a Hall Monitor Genre: MG Humor
Word count: 88,000
 
Hook:

Chance Patrick is a hall monitor, but he thinks he is an action hero. And in his distorted Schwarzenegger-vision, litterers are terrorists and loiterers are enemies of the state. But when Chance concludes the star quarterback is the evil mastermind of a schoolwide brain-enhancing drug ring, this time Chance might be right - and it is time for action.

Line:
According to the Liberty Leader code of ethics I am required to take a bullet for him, but I just hope it goes through me and hits him too.

Sinker:
If you are reading the contents of this highly classified Liberty Leader journal that means I am probably dead. I most likely died disrupting a terrorist plot at Thomas A. Edison High School in Fort Park, Illinois. Please return this journal promptly to Mr. Hank Miller, Lieutenant of the Homeland America Liberty Leader program. Send flowers to Nicole Peters. She will be irrevocably broken by my tragic demise.

Lieutenant Miller insisted that I keep a journal. He said, “Good detective work is about observation. So start noting your observations in a journal, numbskull.” His name-calling never expedites anything, but since I am writing in my journal twenty minutes after he called me a numbskull he might think otherwise. Curses! I hate it when he wins. My distinguished lieutenant recommended typing the journal on my laptop, but I plan on writing longhand in this notebook and keeping it safely tucked away in my helpful - yet stylish! - Liberty Leader satchel. I am pretty technologically savvy, but I don’t entirely trust computers. I fear they may become self- aware and launch our own nuclear warheads against us.

My name is Chance Patrick, and technically I am not a detective or a policeman. I am a Liberty Leader. It is a training program for upstanding and patriotic youth at my school. It is so exclusive that there are only three members: my brother Jake, Toby Doyle and me. Toby is the most arrogant and insufferable twit I have ever met. According to the Liberty Leader code of ethics I am required to take a bullet for him, but I just hope it goes through me and hits him too.

***
**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren't participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday, October 24th.

4 comments:

  1. I would love to consider this full manuscript. Jimmy, please e-mail me the full ms, synopsis (2pg max) and your query letter containing all of the above info with your bio at marisa-at-corvisieroagency-dot-com. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'd like to see more!
    Please paste into the body of your email: your cover letter, synopsis and first three chapters, and send to: Submissions(at)akaliteraryllc(dot)com. In the subject heading please state: HL&S - Requested by Terrie - with your entry number.

    Thanks,
    Terrie

    ReplyDelete
  3. I thought this was hilarious, and would love to request more on behalf of Kent Wolf at Lippincott Massie McQuilkin. Please send your first hundred pages as a Microsoft Word doc, with your query letter pasted into the first page, to amanda [at] lmqlit [dot] com. I look forward to reading your work!

    ReplyDelete