Trick or Treat Agents Revealed!

JEM, our 80's pink-haired rock star, is . . .

Brittany Howard with
the Corvisiero LiteraryAgency.

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Our black and white Harlequin masked agent is . . .

Ammi-Joan Paquette with
the Erin Murphy Literary Agency.

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The Gryffindor clad Hermione Granger is none other than . . .

Jordy Albert with the Corvisiero Literary Agency.

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imagens-do-batman

Batman, our comic hero, is . . .
Thao Le with

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The Jabberwocky, our scariest costume, is . . .
Ali McDonald with The Right's Factory.
 
Now, let's give a big thank you to our five fabulous agents, without whom this contest would never have happened. Thank you all for your participation and for picking such great costumes!

Happy Halloween!

Time to Go Trick or Treating!

It's time to go trick or treating! Can we get our bags filled with treats?

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Trick or Treat entrants, thank you joining the fun!  We received such quality entries that choosing our top 36 was very difficult.  We’ve tried to give our participating agents some great choices based on their wish lists and we’re hoping to see lots of incredible matches made this week.

Congratulations to our finalists and good luck!

http://brenleedrake.blogspot.com/

http://kimberlypchase.blogspot.com/

http://www.writeforapples.com/

* * * Reminders * * *

ONLY PARTICIPATING AGENTS MAY COMMENT IN THIS ROUND. We want our awesome costumed agents to be able to read through the entries with ease.

Agents will request "candy" in the comment section. Any kind of sugar candy (Skittles, Starbursts, etc) means you've gotten a partial request and chocolate candy (Snickers, M&Ms, etc) means you've gotten a full manuscript request. Agents can comment on as many entries as they like. AND multiple agents can request on the same pitch, so you might find your bag full of treats!

Costumed agents will be revealed at 6PM EDT on October 31st.

Anyone who receives candy, should email into trickortreatwithanagent@gmail.com for further submission instructions. You will then receive an email with the correct submission guidelines to follow. DO NOT contact the agent without getting the guidelines first. (not that you really can since they're in costume)

If you are another agent who has stumbled upon this contest, you are welcome to take a look at the amazing entries. We just ask that you wait until the contest has ended to make requests, after midnight on October 31st.

If you want to tweet about the contest, use the hashtag #AgentTreat And be sure to follow @brendadrake @kpchase817 @writeforapples

Trick or Treat #D1 – Lilly Washington's Presidenti​al Adventure

Title: Lilly Washington​'s Presidenti​al Adventure
Category: MG
Genre: Contempora​ry
Word Count: 34,000

Pitch: When twelve-year-old Lilly Washington finds a mysterious diary with entries from the 1870s, she goes against the wishes of the school principal and embarks on a wild adventure to find an undiscovered time capsule mentioned within its pages. What she finds could uncover long lost secrets from the Civil War. That is, if she isn’t expelled first.

Question 1: In your MC's voice, what costume character do you relate most to and why?

I would dress up as my favorite U.S. President, Abe Lincoln, for Halloween because he represents honesty, integrity, and a fighting spirit, all things that I strive for every day. If everyone had a little of Abe Lincoln in them, the world would be a much more peaceful and accepting place.

Question 2: As an author, what makes your manuscript a tasty treat (aka marketable/unique)?

My manuscript contains funny and unique characters with names based on past presidents, including the main character, Lilly Washington, daughter of George and Martha Washington, and her best friend, Madison James. In the story, Lilly finds a diary filled with fun historic information from the 1870s that leads her on a quest to find a buried time capsule, which is a fun way to weave history into a story that appeals to both boys and girls.

First 200 Words:

Sunlight pours in my bedroom window like a cheerful smile, even though the day I've been dreading all summer is here. The first day of middle school. New school. New kids. New teachers. Higher expectations. Commence freak-out.

My stomach flip flops as I pace back and forth across my room. After seven full steps, I stop, coming face to face with Abe Lincoln. Most of my friends have posters of Justin Bieber hanging on their walls. I prefer Abe.

Turning on my heel, I recite the Gettysburg Address out loud. It's the one thing that always calms me down.

“Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth ...”

"Lilly, breakfast,” my mom yells from downstairs in a singsong voice.

“...on this continent a new nation ...”

"Come on, come on, come on. We're already late." My little brother Teddy sticks his head in the door and waves his arm at me to follow him. He's wearing the Thomas the Train shirt he’s been begging to wear every day for weeks.

"I'll be down when I'm ready." It comes out mean. It usually bothers me if I make him feel bad, but his morning it doesn't.

Trick or Treat #D2 – Nice Girls Don’t Date Rock Stars

Title: Nice Girls Don’t Date Rock Stars
Category: Adult
Genre: Commercial​, Women's
Word Count: 103,000

Pitch: Ali idolized rocker Matt Hartley in her teens, but after 5 fairy-tale years together, she meets his young lover whose foolish sacrifices mirror Ali’s. She swapped coasts and deserted her own talents to be with Matt, believing she was just as happy as her friends busy climbing career ladders and buying properties. Now Ali’s got to backtrack to when she lost herself to please others—as far back as childhood, and far away as the UK—if she wants to escape her one-bedroom flat on the corner of Nearly 30 and Nowhere.

Question 1: In your MC's voice, what costume character do you relate most to and why?

Before my breakup, I would've said Penny Lane from Almost Famous, but . . . you know those two-people horse costumes? Yeah, right now, I think I'd be the ass, except I wouldn't want to be close enough to my ex for him to be the front, so maybe I'd just be a horse's backside all on its own.

Question 2: As an author, what makes your manuscript a tasty treat (aka marketable/unique)?

This identity tale is a tasty inside peek into what it's like to date the celebrity you adored as a teenager, and how that dream engineered one young woman's adult life. It's about coming-of-age later than your peers, and the difficult reality that despite all the methods we embrace, there's no shortcut to self-confidence.

First 200 Words:

I’ve known Matt Hartley since I was fifteen. I didn’t actually speak to him until I was eighteen, and by twenty-three, he knew my name. Some might call that a pretty slow-moving relationship, but since it started with his image adorning my bedroom walls, I call it outrageous fortune.

The packed bodies shift like planets aligning in perfect sync, for one split second giving me a glimpse of Matt from head to foot. The foot taps slow and steady, and the head is creased by tell-tale narrowing of dark brows. I’m the only one in the room able to read this exact expression, though I wish the world knew everything that face hides. Sometimes.

Sometimes I just want to keep it tucked safely inside, with the shameless, selfish notion that it’s mine. But like the beauty of a sunset or tear-jerking movie moment, you want to turn to the person beside you and communally gush. So it goes if you date a celebrity of any stature, I guess. You’re delighted when others get what he does, but you also feel like Gollum, hoarding away his private quirks like the One Ring. I’m happy being the only person who knows Matt watches Reading Rainbow over his Cheerios, or that he files paperwork in grocery bags.

Trick or Treat #D3 – The Transparents

Title: The Transparents
Category: MG
Genre: Magical Mystery
Word Count: 37,000

Pitch: When Houdini-obsessed Daniel suddenly becomes invisible for a few minutes in class, he’s afraid everyone will find out and label him a freak. Hiding the secret from his best friend—a class clown with secrets of his own—splashes him into the sixth grade equivalent of the Chinese Water Torture, with no hope of escape. But once his older brother is accused of burglary, Daniel is forced to master his new ability and conjure up his courage to protect the family he used to consider normal.

Question 1: In your MC's voice, what costume character do you relate most to and why?

Well, my best friend would say Batman because that’s his favorite superhero and he relates to him. But, obviously, I’d have to say the Invisible Man, because I’m only cool and confident when I’m invisible.

Question 2: As an author, what makes your manuscript a tasty treat (aka marketable/unique)?

THE TRANSPARENTS is a tasty treat because it will appeal to all children who wish to be the hero, or at least have the occasional superpower. It’s a mystery with magic and heart.

First 200 Words:

Sometimes I wish I could disappear like my hero, Houdini. Get myself out of dangerous situations and tight spots. Today is one of those days.

I’m slumped down so low that my nose practically touches my desk. I try to mentally convince Ms. Lopez that I’m not here and to pick someone else.

You do not see me. You will walk right past me. I am not the volunteer you seek.

Her piercing black eyes pin me to my spot. Don’t get me wrong. Normally, I like Ms. Lopez’s eyes. Normally, I love listening to her call my name. Just not when she’s looking for volunteers.

A sneeze begins to build in my nose, which would be the absolute worst. Ms. Lopez needs to forget my existence until she finds her victim—I mean, volunteer. She won’t be able to ignore me if I sneeze. I might as well stand up and wave my arms around.

I’m not here. I’m a speck of dust in the corner of your vision. Choose someone else.

I really don’t want to solve the math problem she wrote on the whiteboard. I’m okay at math. Just as I’m okay at English, and okay at Social Studies, and okay at Science.

Trick or Treat #D4 – Streetligh​t

Title: Streetligh​t
Category: YA
Genre: Thriller
Word Count: 63,000

Pitch: Turning off streetlights with her mind is a trick fifteen-year-old Logan didn’t know she’d be hunted for. But a group of paranormally-gifted outlaws are hell bent on acquiring Logan’s power. If they catch her, she’ll not only be stripped of her ability, but also her identity – leaving her with no memories of her family, her past or even herself.

Question 1: In your MC's voice, what costume character do you relate most to and why?

I’m not much for dressing up for Halloween, but if had to choose I guess I most relate to the cowardly lion in The Wizard of Oz. Although I wish I related more to Superwoman.

Question 2: As an author, what makes your manuscript a tasty treat (aka marketable/unique)?

Streetlight is a tasty treat because it’s full of steamy romance, a race through the hot southern states, and the terrifying danger of loss of life without actual death. You’ll want to devour every page.

First 200 Words:

“Come on, Logan.” Justin pulled me out of JavaBeans into the muggy autumn night. Chad and Jeremy followed us to the curb. “Just do it. It’s so cool.”

I shook my head. What was wrong with my brother? He knew it wasn’t allowed.

Justin sighed.“Nothing’s gonna happen.”

But that constant feeling of being watched crept up the back of my neck as I peeked into the shadows. Not that I ever saw anyone. I just felt them. All the time. That wasn’t something I shared with my brother since I was already the family’s barely-in-the-closet skeleton.

I leaned toward Justin and lowered my voice. “You know how Daddy feels about it.”

“They’re not gonna rat you out.” He nodded to the guys who shook their heads.

I pulled at the ends of my hair. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.”

“Don’t want to.”

“Wanna walk home?”

No. I did not want to walk home. Alone. In the dark. I made it a point to never be alone. You just never knew. It wasn’t that I was afraid of the dark. Okay, fine. Maybe I was.

“So?” Justin raised his eyebrows.

Being the sophomore little sister of a senior football star wasn’t easy.

Trick or Treat #D5 – Hope in Bloom

Title: Hope in Bloom
Category: YA
Genre: Contempora​ry
Word Count: 72,000

Pitch: When eighteen-year-old Mallory sees her boyfriend’s lips attached to another girl’s at the end-of-summer party, she loses the last bit of happiness in her troubled life. Desperate for a moment of hope, she decides playing the lottery is the ticket to erasing the misery that surrounds her at home and at school. And although her plan delivers the joy of a picture-perfect fantasy world, Mallory’s real life grows more problematic with each new set of numbers.

Question 1: In your MC's voice, what costume character do you relate most to and why?

You know when Charlie Brown goes trick-or-treating, and every time he looks in his bag he can only say, “I got a rock”? Well, that’s me; I’m Charlie Brown.

Question 2: As an author, what makes your manuscript a tasty treat (aka marketable/unique)?

The tastiness in my story lies in its intriguing concept of a girl playing the lottery. The treats are the lottery fantasies that pop up each time she buys a new set of tickets.

First 200 Words:

Every girl needs a good luck charm. Mine was a shirt, emerald green with rainbow embroidery along the neckline. I was convinced that magic lived in every thread. My boyfriend Ben said it was the shirt I had on the day he fell in love with me. I'd also worn it the day I found out I’d finally made the varsity cheerleading squad and the day I’d gotten my first ‘A’on a pre-calculus test. It was definitely a lucky shirt, and I would’ve worn it to the party that night if only it had been clean.

“Hurry up!” I tapped my foot impatiently, looking back at my friends who were moving at a snail’s pace up the walkway.

Sara, Taylor, and Nicole were gossiping about something, but I had zero interest in their conversation. My heart somersaulted in anticipation of seeing Ben. He left for college a month ago, and I missed him. A lot. I missed that fresh-from-the-dryer smell of the sweatshirt he always let me wear. And the taste and feel of his soft lips when he kissed me at the end of our dates. And most of all, I missed his smile, that special treasure that could always melt away my troubles.

Trick or Treat #D6 – Making Arrangemen​ts

Title: Making Arrangemen​ts
Category: Adult
Genre: Women's Fiction
Word Count: 73,000

Pitch: Battling cancer, Lang Ellis spent her (supposed) final year of life making sure her soon-to-be widowed husband could manage without her. Ha. After he drops dead on the tennis court, Lang, miraculously alive and well, learns one of his many secrets could cost her the most important thing she has: her family.

Question 1: In your MC's voice, what costume character do you relate most to and why?

Last year I would have been Cinderella, charmed life and all, because I was alive and in love with the most wonderful man of all. This year I can't decide between the Wicked Witch of the West and a zombie because one minute I'm enraged with that son-of-a-bitch and the next I'm devastated over losing him.

Question 2: As an author, what makes your manuscript a tasty treat (aka marketable/unique)?

My MC is a widowed baby boomer learning to stand on her own two feet for the first time in her life.

First 200 Words:

Lang leaned heavily on the shovel and tried to slow her breath.

A florescent cardinal perched jauntily on the feeder, dapper and energetic. She scanned the garden for his mate, and found the drab-feathered female scuttling in the leaves. Lang and Jack Ellis if they were birds.

Lang put all her weight on the shovel, balancing carefully as the earth gave way and the shovel easily slid in the damp November ground. She hadn't smelled the earth in over a year. She closed her eyes and breathed in the rich, damp scent of dirt.

She should be packing for the celebratory trip for her one year remission, not futilely trying to divide a wayward Lenten rose. She waited for her breath to slow as she went over her list, deleting the big floppy hat. After this past year, she didn't want to ever wear a hat again. Her hair was still chemo-short, but at least her scalp wasn't visible. At first glance, anyway.

Lang knew better than to smile about the love letters she'd written Jack, but she pictured them stacked and tied with the pink ribbon. She didn't want to tempt fate, trash-talk God. Still, she felt a tiny bit smug knowing she'd covered all her bases, that the letters she'd written him after her diagnosis were tucked away, unopened.

Trick or Treat #D7 – Healing Gravel

Title: Healing Gravel
Category: YA
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Word Count: 67,000

Pitch: To pursue her musical passion, Bren turns to her estranged, dead mother’s family to borrow money. She doesn’t anticipate their acceptance or the sexy farm boy who makes her question her feelings. Uncovering her mother’s painful past may be the only way to accept the love she craves.

Question 1: In your MC's voice, what costume character do you relate most to and why?

I’ve been told I remind people of Marilyn Monroe, with my vintage style, blonde hair, and red lipstick. They don’t know the truth to their words, because just like Norma Jean, I’m trying to become someone else.

Question 2: As an author, what makes your manuscript a tasty treat (aka marketable/unique)?

Bren shields herself with indifference, but the reader’s heart will break with hers as they learn the truth of her mother’s past, and the reality of its consequences. It’s an edgy, emotional ride full of loss, forgiveness, and smoldering kisses.

First 200 Words:

Nine hours outside of Denver and Bren Tate had learned a few unimportant facts. Farmland was boring, sleeping in your car was uncomfortable, and every irrelevant town in Kansas had a Casey’s General Store.

She fiddled with her hair, trying to reorganize the blonde waves that framed her face in the rear view mirror. They started out as perfect round pin curls but gave up the fight after a night smashed against her car window. She lifted her heart shaped glasses to evaluate the dramatic wing of her eyeliner and took a final breath as she opened the door. A dense air sucked her pants to her thighs and weighed down her shoulders. The dusty odor of horses drifted by, as a truck and trailer pulled out of the parking lot.

A bell sounded as she entered the convenience store, air conditioning cooled the sweat on her skin and sent goose bumps down her bare arms. She took in the now familiar view. Small towns had a thing for wood paneling, junk food, and an obscene variety of cigarettes.

Behind the counter a woman teetered on a stool pushing Marlboro cartons onto the highest shelf. “Hello, hello,” she chimed.

Trick or Treat #D8 – Cipher

Title: Cipher
Category: Adult
Genre: SciFi Thriller
Word Count: 100,000

Pitch: He’s framing his best friend, dating a girl to steal her password. ‘Nick Ravell’ isn’t even his real name. And he’s the hero.

Question 1: In your MC's voice, what costume character do you relate most to and why?

The pale suit, the broad grin — wide and without the least bit of humor — tell you I’m Mr. Wednesday from Neil Gaiman’s American Gods. But if you think you know the con I’m playing, you’ve only got it half right; because I’m a bit more clever than some dusty Norse god, and I doubt there’s a chance I’ll meet his sorry fate.

Question 2: As an author, what makes your manuscript a tasty treat (aka marketable/unique)?

After Cipher has turned and twisted and surprised you, after the novel you started reading transformed into something you never expected it to be, in those last sixty pages, it will give what every world-weary reader is afraid to even to hope for: an ending that actually delivers.

First 200 Words:

Nobody was above Nick Ravell.

He crept along the weathered limestone cornice capping Wellsburg Hall, staring sixty feet down to concrete, where clusters of gathering college students, preoccupied with the night’s festivities, chatted beneath temporary light towers. Nick scooted behind a brick pediment to escape the flashlight of an approaching officer.

“Anybody here?”

Someone must have reported sounds on the roof.

Nick crouched to steady the shifting slab beneath, like a sprinter poised at the blocks. Twenty feet away, a beam of light traced Nick’s previous hideout, then turned to the ledge and leapt to touch him. It transformed to shadow, blocked by architectural excess.

“Hello?”

Nick squeezed the phone against his palm with one finger, desperate to stop the device’s slide. As black leather boots crunched near, Nick eased a shoe to the previous stone. Solid.

The edge crumbled. Nick slammed against the bricks, clamping his eyes shut to erase the dizzying drop. The footsteps stopped, close enough to hear the officer breathing. “Is someone there?”

Nick’s foot dangled over the edge; his palms pressed limestone. His hand: empty.

The phone? There – balanced on the precipice. Nick dragged it close, and curled it in his fist.

He had almost lost the detonator.

Trick or Treat #D9 – Gone By the End of July

Title: Gone By the End of July
Category: YA
Genre: Contempora​ry-Literar​y
Word Count: 50,000

Pitch: He left for work the morning of July 23rd, and she filed a missing persons report exactly two days later. Now she waits, replaying memories of her father over and over again in her head, until the day she learns the truth. He didn't just leave them.

Question 1: In your MC's voice, what costume character do you relate most to and why?

I guess if I had to choose, I’d say The Little Mermaid. Daddy taught me how to swim, and ever since then I've always had a thing for the water.

Question 2: As an author, what makes your manuscript a tasty treat (aka marketable/unique)?

As an author, I believe what makes my manuscript a tasty treat is the unique voice of my main character, and there’s also a slight air of mystery that could keep any reader enthralled.

First 200 Words:

My grandmother, Stella, could sense death before it happened, and she was as normal as any southern grandmother could get.

She told me once that sense was worry, and it shouldn't be ignored. Sometimes when I’m alone I can feel it growing inside of me like some gross parasite, withering around and making me a wreck. For once I want the worry I feel to go away.

Some days, like today, if I close my eyes and stand really still I can feel it in my bones and along my skin. And as if someone’s bony finger ran down my spine, I quiver.

There are a lot of things to be worried about: Daddy who’s running late for the first time since I can remember, Momma who’s the most miserable woman on earth, and me because no matter how hard I try I can’t stop thinking about a boy who isn't my boyfriend.

His name is Tommy Baker. And like I told my best friend, Lucie, over lunch yesterday, there’s nothing worse than being kissed by a boy who’s called you string bean since the day you first met.

Trick or Treat #D10 – Eisley

Title: Eisley
Category: YA
Genre: Sci-Fi
Word Count: 80,​000

Pitch: Seventeen-year-old Juliet Eisley is a genetically engineered loner without much hope of a future – until she teams up with misanthropic medical genius Quinn Aldrick. Convinced Aldrick’s work will save thousands, Juliet finally finds a purpose, and Aldrick’s dark world starts to feel like home. But could she be the unwilling subject of her new mentor’s ultimate experiment?

Question 1: In your MC's voice, what costume character do you relate most to and why?

Easy - Dr. John Watson, because somehow I ended up as sidekick to a totally damaged genius who needs me more than he knows. Frickin' A - I took a bullet for Aldrick, just like Watson did for Holmes – though I doubt Watson had to give Holmes advice about women after.

Question 2: As an author, what makes your manuscript a tasty treat (aka marketable/unique)?

My manuscript is a Mary E. Pearson's THE ADORATION OF JENNA FOX meets Rick Yancey’s THE MONSTRUMOLOGIST, set in the Georgia swamplands of a not-so-distant future. A standalone work with series potential, EISLEY is light sci-fi with crossover appeal.

First 200 Words:

On the day Aldrick got me, I’d painted my fingernails blue.

Not a nice sky blue or a deep cerulean, but a completely aggressive navy. It matched the circles under my eyes, which matched my mood. The sleep deprivation was compliments of Kenny, my roommate at the Institution, who’d moaned his way through a particularly rough night. Bloody sheets and pus-clotted Kleenexes spilled from his bed all over the floor. This was not fragrance-of-roses material (That’s something my dad used to say).

Usually when Kenny had a bad night, I worked extra hard to put on a good face for him. But today was July 5th. And July 5th was never a normal day for me, not since getting packed away in this sideshow of a boarding school.

I shimmied off the top bunk and tried to ignore the big obnoxious 5 winking at me from the wall calendar. With rumors swirling around that some mysterious benefactor was inquiring about the (unheard-of, mythical, nonexistent) possibility of adolescent adoption, my classmates had been going ape-nuts since Monday, and it was exhausting. Right now they were probably putting on their cleanest uniforms and giving each other makeovers and trying to cover all their weird genetic mishaps with leg braces or sweaters or liters of foundation.

Trick or Treat #D11 – Going Home Again

Title: Going Home Again
Category: Adult
Genre: Cont​emporary Romance
Word Count: 82,0​00

Pitch: For Alyssa Jones, Michael Day was the untouchable guy she pined for in high school but couldn't get to notice her--especially after he became a world-famous pop star. Twenty years later when Michael is back home to escape his floundering marriage, no one's more surprised than Alyssa when sparks fly between them. Now with a relationship on the line and plenty at stake, Alyssa and Michael are left questioning everything they thought they knew about life, and love.

Question 1: In your MC's voice, what costume character do you relate most to and why?

I don't know if this counts, but the costumed character I most identify with is Hester from "The Scarlet Letter." I know it's the 21st century, but I still feel as if I, too, should wear a scarlet "A" on all my clothing for even considering getting into a relationship with a married man (even if he is "on a break" from his wife... and really hot).

Question 2: As an author, what makes your manuscript a tasty treat (aka marketable/unique)?

What makes my manuscript a treat is that most women can probably identify with Alyssa, and the thought of "what would happen if I got another chance with that guy from high school?" It's a romance with a few laughs thrown in-- a sweet read with zero calories or guilt.

First 200 Words:

One Tuesday morning, I got a call I never expected. A call that, for the past twenty years, I may have secretly hoped for.

A familiar voice buzzed over the loudspeaker on my phone. “Alyssa?”

“Yes?”I replied, not looking away from my computer screen. Had Rebecca even started this piece about beach erosion? She usually procrastinated. I scribbled a note to myself to light a fire under her ass.

“There’s a Mr. Johnson on line two for you. Says he has a great story for the magazine. He’s a talent agent from New York.”

An annoyed sigh escaped my lips. “Thanks, Mary.”

There was always an agent or producer trying to get us excited about some low-budget cheese ball TV series or movie being filmed down here in Wilmington, North Carolina. Since Dawson’s Creek, the floodgates had been opened for Wilmington and the surrounding beaches, like Wrightsville, where I worked. Thanks, Van Der Beek.

I picked up my phone. "Wrightsville Magazine, Alyssa Jones speaking."

“Hi, Ms. Jones and how are you today?” answered a bright voice.

“I’m just great and how are you?” Could we skip the pleasantries and get on with it?I work under deadlines, dude.I drummed my pen impatiently on my desktop.

Trick or Treat #D12 – The Only Infinite

Title: The Only Infinite
Category: MG
Genre: SciFi
Word Count: 8​0,000

Pitch: When Lena accepts a scholarship to a new school, she never suspects it is located miles underground and filled with awesome gadgets. She also doesn’t realize the most powerful technology in the place is already hanging around her neck – but her headmaster does. THE INFINITY PENDANT drops a normal girl into a wonderland of scientific marvels, including one so dangerous it could wipe out everyone on the planet’s surface.

Question 1: In your MC's voice, what costume character do you relate most to and why?

Probably Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, except my friend, Rex, has twice the normal amount of brains and the handsome woodcutter in my life (okay, rival Gravitron player) doesn’t need a heart – because he’s already stolen mine! Also, instead of dodging a wicked witch who’s after my shoes, I’ve got a militant organization after my entire planet.

Question 2: As an author, what makes your manuscript a tasty treat (aka marketable/unique)?

THE ONLY INFINITE strands Lena between two worlds: the little beach house she’s always called home, where her mom and brother await her return, and her new underground school filled with friends she’s come to love. Saving the first might mean giving up the second forever – and possibly getting conquered along with everyone else on the planet’s surface.

First 200 Words:

When the Eiffel Tower vanished, Lena Rush was in a tree house in Jupiter, Florida. More specifically, she was in the burning wreckage of what had been a tree house before it had… well, exploded.

It was too bad, really. She and her little brother, Zac, had only discovered the wooden shack a few months before, snared in the branches of an ancient oak. The wobbly boards leading up to it had threatened broken bones to anyone stupid enough to try them, but Lena knew if she didn’t go Zac would. And she wasn’t about to be outdone by a ten-year-old.

Together, they’d cleared out some old birds’ nests and patched the roof with duct tape. By the end, it wasn’t pretty, but it didn’t leak. And the window hacked into one side offered a killer view of the ocean, which set Lena’s surfer heart singing with each pulsing wave.

The place was almost nice until Zac stuffed it full with salvaged motherboards, needle nose pliers, and radios with wires sticking out the back. Sometimes, it sucked having a genius for a brother, but in this case Lena didn’t mind. At least, she didn’t mind as soon as he coaxed a TV into life by hooking it to an old car battery.

Trick or Treat #D13 - Crazy Deep

Title: Crazy Deep
Category: YA
Genre: Speculativ​e Fiction
Word Count: 66,000

Pitch: Fifteen-year-old, Hurricane Katrina evacuee Marissa Martin must save her dad who stayed behind in New Orleans. To find him, all she has to do is trust telepathic powers that don’t work right, a guy she just met, and the mother who abandoned her long ago. Crazy as that sounds, Marissa discovers there’s something even more epic standing in her way: trusting herself.

Question 1: In your MC's voice, what costume character do you relate most to and why?

Definitely Dorothy, except I’ll need more than a pair of ruby slippers to take me home again.

Question 2: As an author, what makes your manuscript a tasty treat (aka marketable/unique)?

Crazy Deep adds a telepathic twist and a touch of romance to the real-world tragedy of Hurricane Katrina and the 2005 levee breaks.

First 200 Words:

Robert Frost was wrong. My world didn’t end in fire or in ice. It ended in water. It still covers streets, houses, the playground near my house. Even the massive oaks that line City Park are broken. Damaged, all of it. Lost in the muddy pool that taunts me on the TV screen.
“Eighty percent of New Orleans has been inundated with water since the levees broke four days ago,” the news anchor announces, safe in his Atlanta newsroom.
The image on the screen shifts from him to the city that used to be home. The camera inches closer. Closer. I catch my breath, wait. It stops just short of my street. But I no longer have to see it to make it real. That’s not why I lean in, hope for a glimpse of my house. As much as witnessing the damage hurts in that heart-squeezing kind of way, none of it compares to the most important thing I’ve lost. Dad. He stayed behind, refused to evacuate to Pennsylvania with me.
Panic clogs my chest. Because even if I could go back there and look for him, “there” is gone.

Secret Fourth Judge Revealed!

As those of you who followed the Hook, Line & Sinker contest will know, Kat, Summer and I had a secret 4th agent to help us when it came to making some of the calls in rounds 1 and 2 of the contest. What you didn't know until now is that our secret 4th judge was none other than amazing publishing intern, Brent Taylor!

Brent is a senior in high school, a wizard with words, an ex-gymnast, and probably one of the coolest people you will ever meet on twitter. Check out his blog and follow him on twitter. SERIOUSLY.

After the excitement of the contest, Kat asked Brent a few questions...

You're an intern in publishing, along with a few other various titles - for those of us staring at you in awe, can you say a little bit about what that's like and what's involved?

I've been totally transformed by internships in publishing. I've learned so much about editing, pitching, and storytelling that I've been able to apply to my own writing. It's something that I get very sick of at times (especially during my senior year--I have so many other distractions) but at the end of the day really love. It takes me two to three weeks to read an average-sized novel. My email inbox, which used to be impeccably organized and maintained, now is a hazard zone. But the fabulous writers (like, AHEM, Kat Ellis) make all the digging and reading and analyzing worthwhile. I love seeing authors jump from A to B to Published.

As our secret fourth judge in Hook, Line & Sinker, you made some tough calls on entries the rest of us were flailing over. What was that like?

HARD. So many talented writers, so few spots. Quite a few were hard to decide on because of something I see very often in the slushpile: poor concept, great writing, and vice versa.


Did you have any favorites from the contest?

I really quite like CHRONICITY's concept. Did anyone request that one? I definitely would have. I'm a sucker for time travel and the early 20th century.

What do you think makes a truly stellar pitch?

I think this is a question better suited for an experienced literary agent, but I will try to answer:

Something that is clear and concise and truly places the reader in the middle of the story.

A few months ago on Twitter someone I really like said something along the lines of, "Your query should read like prose. Re-read and write multiple times until you nail it."

You should definitely put your query through a grueling revision process, yes. But I don't necessarily think that queries should read like prose.

This is something that I struggle with in my essays for school. I spend all day sitting with math and science prodigies that can discuss character and plot to some degree, but when it comes to the actual writing and style, they can't articulate to you the difference between Fitzgerald and Twain and Hemingway. I get very pretentious (FORGIVE ME) and I feel bored and then I try to write simple essays with Super Complex Sentences and No Adverbs and with Many Semi-Colons and Lyrical Prose. The words are good, but the essays lack in terms of content. I haven't learned to balance the two yet, or maybe the two can't be balanced in simple essays. I think the same applies to queries. You should show that you're a good writer, but don't compromise trying to illustrate your literary talent for adequately describing your story.

What advice would you give to writers who are new to querying / contests?

Try very hard. Give it everything you've got. But don't overwork and exhaust yourself very early on, because this is a long process, and stamina is important if you're going to keep trying.

HUGE thanks to Brent for being our secret fourth judge in the contest, answering our questions, and just being all around awesome!

Hook, Line, & Sinker Wrap Up

That’s all, folks!

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It has been such an intense couple of weeks, but we can now officially declare the Hook, Line and Sinker contest a SUCCESS! (And yes, over.)  EVERY SINGLE ENTRY had at least one request, on all three blogs.  Seriously, how awesome is that?

50 Round Three Contestants and 12 Agents

Total Requests- MG – 29 , YA – 37 , Adult – 33, Overall – 99!!!

MC900384154We were so thrilled with the caliber of submissions and you made it very tough to narrow them down.  During the contest, much SQUEEing, panicking, and even SIGNING ensued as the participating agents showed their love across the board.

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A lot of planning went into this contest and over 800 emails were exchanged between the co-hosts.  Good thing we love the heck out of each other.  :)

A HUGE thank you to everyone who participated: our amazing agents who gave so generously of their time, amazing writers who took a chance and put their work out there, and my amazing co-hosts who are two super fun people to work with.  (Don’t let Kat’s “evil one” label fool you!)  And a special shout out to Elaine Vickers whose tweet that Fizzy and I should run a contest sparked the whole idea.  And to Kat for jumping in to run it with us!

Our secret fourth judge will be revealed in a couple of days in an interview where he will talk about pitching, choosing entries, and his other general thoughts of awesomeness!

We hope you gained something from the contest, whether it was helpful feedback, agent requests, or connecting with other writers.  And remember that contests aren’t just for winning.  (Watch for an upcoming post on that topic.)  Keep chatting on the #HLandS hashtag to stay connected if you’d like.  The three of us will still be around to chat too!

So now all that’s left is to declare it OPEN SEASON on the comments! This means that anyone can comment, whether it’s to add your constructive feedback on the entries, or for agents who weren’t a part of the #HLandS line-up to make their requests. And as always, positive comments only.  We’re a supportive bunch around here.  Go ahead, don’t be shy now… 

Time to Go Fishing for Manuscripts! Round Three is On!

Hook, Line, & Sinker entrants, you are a very talented group of writers and you made our decisions very tough! While we couldn’t move everyone on to Round Three, we’ve done our best to give the participating agents what they’ve asked for and we’ll be watching for some fantastic matches to be made over the next few days.

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No matter how far you made it in the contest, we hope you’ll gain something from being involved.
Learn about the agents and see what they request, use the feedback on your hook & line, let the encouragement carry you forward, and make some new writer friends.

Congratulations to our finalists and good luck!
Middle Grade will be posted on http://www.writeforapples.com/
Young Adult will be posted on http://katelliswrites.blogspot.com/
Adult will be posted on http://fizzygrrl.com//
* * * Reminders * * *
ONLY PARTICIPATING AGENTS MAY COMMENT IN THIS ROUND. We need to keep the posts clean so our awesome agents can easily read through the entries.

If you are another amazing agent who has happened upon this contest and would like to make requests, we welcome you to take a look. However, please wait until the contest closes at 7 PM EDT on Wednesday to make your requests.

If you want to tweet about the contest, use the hashtag #HLandS And be sure to follow @Fizzygrrl @el_kat @writeforapples

MG Entry #1 - Race to Butch Cassidy’s Gold

Name: Emily Cushing
Title: RACE TO BUTCH CASSIDY’S GOLD
Genre: MG Mystery Word Count: 45,000

Hook:

Twelve-year-old Maggie McCoy wants to be brave and spontaneous, so when she and her fearless cousin Jake discover clues leading to Butch Cassidy’s gold, she crumples her “to-do” list in favor of adventure. Racing across Utah with their quirky Grandpa Jim is the grand adventure she’s always wanted, until they meet a dangerous thief who will do anything to find the treasure first.

Line:

The light from the evening sun shone through the trees, casting eerie shadows all around them, especially on something lying on the ground thirty feet away.

Sinker:

Twelve seconds until summer vacation. Maggie stared at the classroom clock, counting down the last seconds of sixth grade. Someone in the back of the room began chanting, “Ten, nine, eight—”

Everyone else joined in, “Seven, six—”

Almost time!
Maggie thought, sitting at the edge of her seat.

“Five, four—”

Just a few more seconds.


“THREE, TWO—”

Now!


“ONE!!”

RRRRINGGGG!!
The class erupted into cheers.

Maggie jumped out of her seat, slung her pink backpack over her shoulder, and slipped out the classroom door. As she ran down the school’s rickety old steps, she pulled the “to-do” list she had carefully prepared the night before out of her back pocket.

Five minutes. That’s how long she’d given herself to make it to Slotz Convenience Store. She studied the large crowd in front of her and took a deep breath. She examined her bright green digital watch, pushed the start button, and took off running.

“To your left,” she called, pushing past a circle of fifth grade girls in a group hug. “Coming through.” Maggie sidestepped a large boy picking gum off the bottom of his shoe. “Watch out.” She darted around a curly-haired girl rummaging through her backpack. Just a few more steps and Maggie would bust out of the crowd. She glanced at her watch again. One minute down, four to go. So far, so good. She thought she just might make it in time.

Boy, was she wrong.

***
**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren't participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday, October 24th.

MG Entry #2 - Chronicity

Name: Lori Tays Eastep
Title: CHRONICITY Genre: MG Fantasy
Word Count: 54,000

Hook:

With the help of two friends and a 400-year-old girl he may or may not have a crush on, thirteen-year-old Grim Grinnert must determine how and why he stumbled into Chronicity, the Town of Time. If he fails to find the answers before the watch strapped to his arm hits zero, they’ll send him someplace horrible… like 1932. Forever.

Line:

Grim poked his head out his bedroom window and snickered. His eight-year-old brother, Tyrus, was throwing jumbo marshmallows into the windows of passing cars and calling out, “Want s’more?”

Sinker:

Grim hated his name. It wasn’t short for Griffin, or Grissom, it was just Grim, and he’d never understood why his parents called him something that meant “extremely unpleasant.” Some kids at school, mostly girls, thought it sounded mature, but to him it just sounded depressing. Why couldn’t he have had some nice, normal, average name, one that didn’t make him stick out like a sore thumb?
But then, his parents never had been exactly average. And although the Grinnerts lived in an average town, on an average street, in an average house, it took approximately five seconds to see that they were anything but.

“HEY, KID! YOU BETTER WATCH IT!”

Grim poked his head out his bedroom window and snickered. His eight-year-old brother, Tyrus, was throwing jumbo marshmallows into the windows of passing cars and calling out, “Want s’more?”

Tyrus was a Grinnert through and through, and this afternoon he was wearing an aluminum foil hat with ears that pointed straight up, like a horse’s. Grim threw his algebra textbook onto the bed. He had quit being embarrassed by his family’s oddities long ago--at least most of the time--and this particular scene looked like it was going to be too good to miss. A few seconds later, his mother barreled out the front door.

“Tyrus Grinnert!” she yelled as she ran. “How many times have I told you not to waste your father’s aluminum foil? If you’re going to use it, make something useful, like an alien antennae!”

***
**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren't participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday, October 24th.

MG Entry #3 - The Classified Journal of a Hall Monitor

Name: Jimmy Juliano
Title: The Classified Journal of a Hall Monitor Genre: MG Humor
Word count: 88,000
 
Hook:

Chance Patrick is a hall monitor, but he thinks he is an action hero. And in his distorted Schwarzenegger-vision, litterers are terrorists and loiterers are enemies of the state. But when Chance concludes the star quarterback is the evil mastermind of a schoolwide brain-enhancing drug ring, this time Chance might be right - and it is time for action.

Line:
According to the Liberty Leader code of ethics I am required to take a bullet for him, but I just hope it goes through me and hits him too.

Sinker:
If you are reading the contents of this highly classified Liberty Leader journal that means I am probably dead. I most likely died disrupting a terrorist plot at Thomas A. Edison High School in Fort Park, Illinois. Please return this journal promptly to Mr. Hank Miller, Lieutenant of the Homeland America Liberty Leader program. Send flowers to Nicole Peters. She will be irrevocably broken by my tragic demise.

Lieutenant Miller insisted that I keep a journal. He said, “Good detective work is about observation. So start noting your observations in a journal, numbskull.” His name-calling never expedites anything, but since I am writing in my journal twenty minutes after he called me a numbskull he might think otherwise. Curses! I hate it when he wins. My distinguished lieutenant recommended typing the journal on my laptop, but I plan on writing longhand in this notebook and keeping it safely tucked away in my helpful - yet stylish! - Liberty Leader satchel. I am pretty technologically savvy, but I don’t entirely trust computers. I fear they may become self- aware and launch our own nuclear warheads against us.

My name is Chance Patrick, and technically I am not a detective or a policeman. I am a Liberty Leader. It is a training program for upstanding and patriotic youth at my school. It is so exclusive that there are only three members: my brother Jake, Toby Doyle and me. Toby is the most arrogant and insufferable twit I have ever met. According to the Liberty Leader code of ethics I am required to take a bullet for him, but I just hope it goes through me and hits him too.

***
**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren't participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday, October 24th.

MG Entry #4 - The Mis(s)fits: All that Glitters

Name: Heather Harris-Brady
Title: The Mis(s)fits: All that Glitters Genre: Middle Grade Contemporary Mystery Word Count: 32,500

Hook:

Seriously, tween Manhattan fashionista/upstate transplant Celia Narro will do ANYTHING to be NYC’s Designer Deb. As she unravels the mystery of lost local loot – her ticket back – she finds a prejudiced secret society. When her partner disappears Celia’s nemesis forces her to choose between keeping a promise to an old friend or risking the life of a new one.

Line:
"What are you doing here? And more importantly - Dude - what is with that get up?" Celia said.

Sinker:
“Seriously, they might as well just lock me in the basement,” Celia said.“I mean, a FARM and a restaurant! Can you even?”She stopped abruptly in the middle of the sidewalk and put her hands on her hips. An impish Central Park breeze, bouncing the scent of Belgian waffles and hot dogs, lifted her black veil and sent sunshine sparkles skipping across the surface of the pond.

“Now do I look like a farmer?” she asked. Indira Prabshan put on her Fake Serious Face as she looked at her best friend, a mirror of her own image. From Celia’s glossy black razor-cut hair to her manicured fingernails down to the soles of her designer sandals they were both city girls through and through, and had been ever since they met on the first day of kindergarten.

“Noooo. . .,” Indira said, dissolving into the giggly laugh Celia liked so well. In the middle of the kites and wedding parties the pretty girl in mourning clothes and her poodle dressed in matching black tweed raised a few jaded eyebrows.

“And does this look like a farm dog?” Celia asked, pointing at Coco. This time they both laughed because there was no way to even picture the handful of cotton candy fluff anywhere other than the upholstered brownstone streets of the Upper West Side. Coco wagged her tail. She liked attention even if she didn’t always understand it. Indira’s laugh faded as her eyes darkened.

“Look, I don't know how to tell you this so I'm just going to come out and say it,” she said.

***
**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren't participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday, October 24th.

MG Entry #5 - The Ethan Project

Name: Andrea Mack
Title: The Ethan Project Genre: MG Contemporary Word Count: 40,000

Hook:

When two cousins she’s never met move in, Molly promises to help to keep her recently-divorced mom from stressing. Even if she has to share her room and her friends with messy, overly-dramatic Joy. But when she starts a project to get Joy’s mute brother to talk, helping could cost Molly her best friend and destroy her fragile family.

Line:

I had to fix what had happened with Joy and Kayla before it put a big crack in the foundation of our friendship.

Sinker:

When I showed Kayla where I had to put my houses she totally knew how I felt. We stared at my big work table, pushed up against the wall of the under-the-stairs storage cupboard. In the Dungeon.

She said, “This is so not a creative environment. Is that a spider web?”

I swiped away the faint thread hanging down from the stair railing. My houses didn’t belong here. Neither did my baskets of supplies. Or the plans Dad and I had drawn up. I bet if he hadn’t moved a thousand miles away, this wouldn’t have happened. I’d at least have had the chance to think of another place for them. But he was gone and Mom was in panic mode.

“Mom says it’ll be fine once we get a lamp.” As if brightening up the dinginess of the basement would make up for taking away my beautiful sunny craft room.

Kayla wrinkled her nose at my computer, on the floor with its disconnected monitor. Then she looked at my houses again. “Molly, I think you need a sign in case one of them comes down here.”

I opened a folder sitting on the table and pulled out a piece of paper. It said:
DON’T TOUCH MY HOUSES.
DON’T TOUCH MY PLANS.
ASK MOLLY IF YOU WANT
TO BORROW ANY SUPPLIES.
I put it back in the folder. “Mom saw it on her way to the laundry room. She said it wasn’t very welcoming. I’m saving it, just in case.”

***
**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren't participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday, October 24th.

MG Entry #6 - Alex Daily: Sometimes Superhero

Name: Ashley Keene
Title: ALEX DAILY: SOMETIMES SUPERHERO Genre: MG Magical Realism Word Count: 78,000

Hook:
It’s not easy being a superhero with a different power every day and a 9:00 bedtime every night. Alex Daily has no way of controlling or predicting which superpower he’ll wake up with each morning, but that won’t stop him from his pursuit of uncovering the source of his abilities, while performing a few heroic deeds along the way.

Line:
“Alex suddenly understood why so many superheroes didn’t have parents; having parents meant a lot of lying and sneaking around, which good heroes weren’t supposed to do.”

Sinker:
The day before getting his first superpower, Alex Daily found himself climbing to the top of his stepdad’s forbidden twelve-foot ladder. The sun-soaked metal burned his fingers and the cardboard box under his arm kept catching beneath each rung and throwing him off balance. He’d be grounded for life if Mom or Walter caught him climbing this ladder. The worst part? He didn’t even want to climb it.

Melanie watched from below, a half-smile tugging at the corner of her tiny mouth. He was afraid of heights and of breaking rules, but he was most afraid of being called a wimp by a girl. Melanie was a tomboy but she still counted as a girl, and her smile (which could open wide and start yelling insults any moment) was the only thing that kept him climbing.

When he got to the final rung he set the box on the little shelf at the top.

"Okay, Melanie, you ready?" Alex asked. He wanted to get it over with.

“No!” she said. “You have to go to the tip-top.”

"The box is on there. Besides, it’s for paint cans and tools."

"Not that part, stupid. Look! You’ve still got a step to go."

Melanie was right, as usual, but she couldn’t see the sticker that covered the top rung. "NOT A STEP!" the red letters warned. There were pictures of stick figure men falling to horrible stick figure deaths. One fell forward, bringing the whole ladder down with him. Another fell backwards somehow landing directly on his head with his legs straight up in the air, which didn’t even seem physically possible but scared Alex nonetheless.


***
**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren't participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday, October 24th.

MG Entry #7 - Discovering Isaac

Name: Elaine Vickers
Title: Discovering Isaac Genre: MG Contemporary
Word Count: 45,000

Hook:

Eleven-year-old Isaac Sanchez didn’t know what to expect when his deadbeat mom came back, but it definitely wasn’t this: a secret code, a new best friend, and a strange connection to the greatest scientist of all time. Isaac’s experiments sometimes end in disaster, but he may discover what he was looking for all along: his own place in the universe.

Line:


There were only two cool parts about those field trips: looking down the amazing wall of concrete that holds back the Colorado River, and being able to say things like “This is the best dam field trip ever!” or “When is this dam tour going to end?” without getting in trouble.

Sinker:
Isaac Newton: “For the natural days are truly unequal, though they are commonly considered as equal, and used for a measure of time…”
Isaac Sanchez: Every day has 24 hours, but that doesn’t mean they’re equal. Sometimes, your whole universe can change in just 24 hours.

It all started with baseball.

I hated baseball.

I would’ve rather yanked out my own nose hairs one by one in front of the whole sixth grade wearing only yesterday’s underwear than play a baseball game. But every year, my grandma made me play, and my whole summer was ruined by never-ending little league. The worst thing about torture is that it’s not optional.

So there I was, an hour before the first pitch of the season, willing to give up my whole life savings (four dollars) if I could just find my mitt. Without it, I couldn’t even hide or protect one little part of my body.

I put my forehead on the glass and stared out the window at the cactus clumps and pinkish rocks that people called landscaping in Arizona. I pushed my lips together to keep from saying it out loud.

I hate baseball.
I hated the cold fear that snaked through my body because I was scared of being hit by every single pitch. I hated the fact that I had to special-order my uniform every year because Sports Den didn’t stock extra smalls.

I was the fastest kid on the team, and there was nothing that made me feel better than running until my legs and lungs burned, until anybody chasing me was just chewing my dust.

***
**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren't participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday, October 24th.

MG Entry #8 - Double-Crossed

Name: Jayme Woods
Title: DOUBLE-CROSSED
Genre: MG Adventure Word count: 55,000

Hook:

When Stray blows his sister’s chance at a scholarship, their father’s pirate stories may be the only way to set things right. Along with three friends – and one reluctant enemy – the siblings hunt treasure while two gun-toting modern-day pirates hunt them. DOUBLE-CROSSED takes a ragtag group reminiscent of THE GOONIES and sets them loose in small town Florida.

Line:

“If I’ve only got fifteen minutes to live, I don’t want to spend them hiding.”

Sinker:
If annoying your sister was a sport, Amee Walsh felt certain her little brother would have thirteen gold medals, one for every year of his life. On the street, people would point and cheer, chasing after him to ask for autographs and training tips. His face would loom over the highway on billboards and line grocery store shelves, grinning from box after box of his very own breakfast cereal, Stray-O’s.

That’s what everyone called him. Stray. Like a dog no one wanted or the one-eyed cat who roamed the docks downtown, mewling for scraps.

But this story isn’t about the cat, and it isn’t about Stray. It’s about his sister and the adventure that finally turned her into her mother’s daughter.

The excitement started much the way things always did around the Walsh house – with a fight.

“One thing! I asked you to do one thing, Stray!”

“I know, but–”

“No! No buts!”

For the hundredth time, it occurred to Amee that, thanks to his recent growth spurt, she was now looking up at Stray despite being three years older. She shoved him onto the sofa so she could yell down at him.

“All you had to do was stay out of trouble until after my scholarship presentation. One tiny little hour. How hard is that?”

“C’mon, I said I was sorry.”

“Sorry!” Amee’s face blazed even more intensely than her fire-red hair. She couldn’t believe he didn’t have more to say for himself. Before his little performance, the Ramirez Sporting Goods scholarship had been as good as hers.

***
**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren't participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday, October 24th.

MG Entry #9 – Ex-Drama Queen

Name: Gail Nall
Title: EX-DRAMA QUEEN
Genre: Upper MG Contemporary
Word Count: 51,000

Hook:

Rather than be doomed to a life of mediocrity when she loses the lead in the school musical to her best friend, thirteen-year-old Casey makes a list of ways to reinvent herself. Karate master, figure skater, poker player...and accidental boyfriend stealer? So much for ex-drama queen.

Line:

My Swan Lake visions swirl down the toilet in a mess of white tulle and ribbons.

Sinker:
Wednesday, September 6th is the day my life will change.

I'll either land the lead role in The Sound of Music, get into Holland Performing Arts High School, and end up on Broadway before I graduate college. Or, I'll bomb the audition, go to boring South County High where I'll have no friends, and end up waiting tables at some roadside diner in Nowheresville, Kansas.

So, I've decided to memorize the entire play before I even audition. No drama teacher –not even Ms. Sharp – can possibly deny my dedication to theater.

“Casey, aren't you going to eat?” Amanda pushes my lunch bag toward me.

“I can't marry him!” I recite with my eyes closed. My voice carries across the lunchroom, drowning out the chatter and shouts and clattering trays.

“Nice projection,” Amanda says as I bow to the table of wide-eyed sixth graders next to us. “The auditions aren't for two days. I really doubt Ms. Sharp expects you to have anything memorized.”

“I have to be perfect. My entire life depends on this role.” I rip open my lunch bag and pull out the salad and veggie burger I packed last night. Every great actor must perfect her skills, so I like to take on the role of different characters. Since Mom bought a boatload of bagged salad on sale, I decided to be a vegetarian this week.

“Don't worry so much.” Amanda flicks her long blond hair over her shoulder.

***
**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren't participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday, October 24th.

MG Entry #10 – Confessions of a Cornhead

Name: Marcy Blesy
Title: Confessions of a Cornhead Genre: Middle Grade Contemporary Word Count: 38000

Hook:

Twelve-year-old Bernie Taylor wants to be an actress but not a country-music lovin’, beef-eatin’ actress you’d expect from Cornville, Illinois. She wants to perform in Chicago, just like her mom did before she died of breast cancer. Winning a scholarship to performing arts camp is her ticket out of town, but her rival, Dixie, is intent upon crushing Bernie’s dreams.

Line:

I don’t know too many Hollywood actors who thank their math teachers in their acceptance speeches for teaching them algorithmic equations, and I won’t be the first.

Sinker:
Best Actress in a Leading Role: Bernadette Taylor…Thunderous Applause…Walk to stage, careful not to trip on my one-of-a-kind, single-shouldered, midnight blue dress......I’d like to thank the academy for recognizing my talent. Ryan, Taylor, Johnny…to be able to act with such fine Hollywood legends has been a dream.


I write my acceptance speech in my math notebook, along the edge next to the spiral binder. I'm having a hard time getting through class today. Is algebra even necessary? I don’t know too many Hollywood actors who thank their math teachers in their acceptance speeches for teaching them algorithmic equations. I won’t be the first.

“What are you writing, Bernie?”

I know that corn syrup voice, sugary, and fake.

“None of your business, Dixie.” I shut my notebook and gather my books, waiting for the bell to ring and bring me one day closer to getting out of Cornville Middle School and into Chicago where I’ll be a big star, just like Mom, before she got that dumb tumor.

“Sketching your wardrobe again, Bernie?” she asks.

I don’t answer.

“Think you looked cute in that…What was it? A bolero? How about stiletto heels, too?”

I hear laughter all around her. Why won’t the bell just ring? I did look good in my fur trimmed bolero over my lime green tank and dark denim jeans. What do these kids know about fashion? And like I would wear stilettos to school? Seriously. Someday they’ll be looking at my pictures in fashion magazines and trying to find cheap knock-offs to look just like me, when I’m a big actress, like Mom.


***
**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren't participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday, October 24th.

MG Entry #11 – Julius Caesar Brown and the Green Gas Mystery

Name: Ace Hansen
Title: Julius Caesar Brown and the Green Gas Mystery
Genre: MG Humor Word Count: 33,000


Hook:


When a peculiar green gas crisis breaks wind, the Global Air Group (GAG) offers a million dollar prize to the discoverer of the cause. Julius dreams of winning, but it’s not until he’s forced to work for the creepy zombie lady down the street that an unlikely solution to the mystery appears. Will he send his entry in time?

Line:

The policeman’s eyebrows almost flew off his forehead.

Sinker:
The real Julius Caesar conquered the world.


All I wanted was to conquer a simple spelling test.


“Having trouble, Salad Boy?”

I set down my pencil and glared at Ben Purdee, the brainiest kid in fifth grade. “No problem.”


Yes I had a problem. And it wasn’t just how to spell brocolee.

Mrs. Tucker closed her book. “Time’s up. Pass them forward.”

I handed Ivy my test and pushed my chair away from my desk. The legs scraped the floor and made a loud, embarrassing noise.

Ivy Chen stared, her brown eyes wide as pie.

Ben nudged me and smirked. “Did you just—?”

“No! It was my chair. See?” I scooted back and forth trying to remake the suspicious sound, but I couldn’t. Ben moved his desk away from mine. Ivy’s nose twitched. My cheeks grew hot. “It really was the chair,” I mumbled.

Mrs. Tucker cleared her throat and held up yesterday’s math tests.

Uh oh.

“Most of you did great.” She narrowed her eyes as she handed out the tests. “A few of you did not.”

An angry red“D” screamed from the top of mine. I cringed. No matter how hard I tried, I didn’t get math. Or spelling. Or much else these days.

Ivy’s black ponytail flew past my nose as she turned and caught sight of my grade. She patted my hand. “Maybe we could meet at the library after school sometime and I could help you.”

I sat up. “That’d be great!”

***
**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren't participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday, October 24th.

MG Entry #12 – Lilly Washington’s Presidential Adventure

Name: Laurie Litwin
Title: Lilly Washington’s Presidential Adventure
Genre: MG Contemporary Word Count: 34,000

Hook:
When twelve-year-old Lilly Washington finds a mysterious diary with entries from the 1870s, she goes against the wishes of the school principal and embarks on a wild adventure to find an undiscovered time capsule mentioned within its pages. What she finds could uncover long lost secrets from the Civil War. That is, if she isn’t expelled first.

Line:

Being the super-skinny kid with red-rimmed glasses and parents named George and Martha Washington, I’ve never exactly been inconspicuous.

Sinker:

Sunlight pours in my window like a cheerful smile, even though it's the day I've been dreading all summer. The first day of middle school. New school. New kids. New teachers. Higher expectations. Commence freak-out.

My stomach flip flops as I pace back and forth across my room. After seven full steps, I stop, coming face to face with Abe Lincoln. Most of my friends have posters of Justin Bieber hanging on their walls. I prefer Abe.

Turning on my heel, I recite the Gettysburg Address out loud. It's the one thing that always calms me down.

"Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth ..."

"Lilly, breakfast," my mom yells from downstairs in a sing song voice.

"...on this continent a new nation..."

"Come on, come on, come on. We're already late." My little brother Teddy sticks his head in the door and waves his arm at me to follow him. He's wearing the Thomas the Train shirt he's been begging to wear every day for weeks.

"I'll be down when I'm ready." It comes out mean. It usually bothers me if I make him feel bad, but this morning it doesn't.

He sticks his tongue out and skips down the hall toward the smell of bacon frying.

"...conceived in liberty..."

"Lilly! Downstairs! Now!" Great. Her voice hit that high note it only reaches when she's really mad.

I stifle the urge to shout back. Instead, I sigh and roll my eyes.

***
**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren't participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday, October 24th.

MG Entry #13 – Cirque

Name: Faith E. Hough
Title: CIRQUE
Genre: Upper MG historical fiction
Word count: 57,000

Hook:

While the French Revolution brews around her, 14-year-old Comtesse Juliette de la Marche is concerned only with finding her missing diplomat father, a quest that takes her from the center ring of London’s first circus to the edge of the guillotine’s blade.

Line:

On three levels, I considered, visiting Guy Legrand's home was like making a visit to the barber to have a tooth extracted: you winced coming in and left feeling greatly relieved; any time spent there was easier to endure with your eyes closed; and you could never get the smell of rotting things out of your nose.

Sinker:


If common blood is red and noble blood is blue, then what runs through my veins is the clear purple of a fresh spring violet. I’ve always considered this a great advantage.

The noble part of me can dance a minuet with Gulliver’s Travels perched atop my coiffure. The commoner part can swear like a pirate and spit like a lackey. Not that my commoner mother taught me either of those two skills; I picked them up from Georges the stable boy since Maman died when I could scarcely string a sentence together. Still, I considered them my birthright. Two such practical abilities demanded to be put to use.

For example: the day at the circus.

The year was 1790, and we were in Paris like most of the courtiers. The royal family bought tickets to the show; thus everyone else did as well. While some of the haughtier aristocrats considered it their grim duty, I thought Papa might have been the one to plant the idea in Queen Marie Antoinette’s head, tucking it in somewhere behind the ostrich plume in her hair. Jeanne Marie and Angeline, my stepmother and stepsister, belonged to the former group of nobles. They looked forward to the day with all the fervor and joy you might expect of someone about to have a leech placed on a troublesome boil.

“Bring your embroidery along, girls,” Jeanne Marie advised before we left, “so that at least we will have something interesting with which to occupy ourselves.”

***
**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren't participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday, October 24th.

MG Entry #14 – Pointy-Eared Freak

Name: Kristen Hansen Brakeman
Title: Pointy-Eared Freak
Genre: MG Humorous Fantasy
Word count: 36,000

Hook:

Wanna-be Goth Natalie buries herself in fantasy novels as a way of dealing with her inattentive guardian, Aunt Kelly. But when her ears suddenly turn pointy and two Elfin Collectors arrive with news of her recessive elfin gene, she doesn't know what to do. After all, fantasizing about magical worlds is one thing, actually going to one is quite another.

Line:

If you are cut from the Academy, you will need to pack your bags and leave immediately, living the rest of your lives in shame and humiliation!

Sinker:

Walk fast and keep your eyes on the page. That’s what I tell myself whenever I pass by Blake and the jerks he hangs out with. I stare at my Percy Jackson book, walk really quickly, and hope he chooses someone else to pick on today

Luckily my plan works. But now, because of those annoying boys, I’ll end up getting to music class early. I dread that music class. Why? Two words: Mr. Pratt. Even though we’re in sixth grade now, he treats us like babies and makes us sing the same songs we sang in kindergarten. Then there’s the hand moves - the embarrassing, mortifying, hand moves.

“Shake your fingers and reach for the stars, people,” he likes to say.

Really? Will we catch them Mr. Pratt? I don’t think so. Maybe if you had spent a little more time reading science books instead of banging on that silly tambourine, you’d realize how ridiculous you sound. I’d like to tell him this, but of course I don’t. Instead I try to blend in so he won’t single me out for a solo.

Alicia doesn’t know how to blend in . . . at . . all. Maybe if she did the boys wouldn’t have chosen her for their target. Alicia just started at Bridges Prep this fall. She’s looks and
dresses like she’s eight. Today she wore a furry panda hat to school. What was she thinking? Maybe those goofy animal hats were okay at her old school, but not here in L.A.

***
**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren't participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday, October 24th.